The Argosy, Vol. 82, No. 3 — page 190: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

564 tively. You know that thirty-dollar sick cow what he got last winter? Well, he got ninety dollars for it already. Now, what do you think of that, Phares?” “Oi, oi, oi! Ninety dollars for that sick cow! How did he got it?” “Just by studying how to do it, Phares. I must say that fellah’s got it a head on him for thinking up tricks. You know the oil company run their new _ pipe-line through Wolfinger’s farm. Well, when they come to his meadow, what has a little river running through it, they had to run the pipes under the bed of the river, under- stand. “ And that sick cow, Phares, believe me, she was all in, you betcha. Well, one day she is so weak she has to lie down by the river, and couldn’t come home, by golly! This Wolfinger he goes down to see her, and he knows then he must shoot her, and lose the thirty dollars what he paid for her. While he is looking at the cow he sees where they put the oil-pipe under the river, and that begins him thinking. ‘““So next day he got his daughter Tillie to write to the oil people that their pipe is leaking, and when his waluable cow drinks some of the river it makes her so krank he must kill it. The oil people sent out a claim-agent. He looked at the cow and then at the river, and saw some oil on the water. The next day Wolfinger he got a fifty-dollar check for that cow what was sick already when he bought it.” ‘Some people!” I says. ““And then, Phares,” Aaron, he says, “what do you think he done next? Why, he sent for the health-inspector and told him something wrong was with his cow. The inspector looked at the cow und says it has the tuberculosis, and he must kill it quick. “When the cow was dead Wolfinger sent it a claim to the State of Pennsylvania for reimbursement what the State allows, understand, when they kill a cow what has tuberculosis. They paid him forty dollars for killing that cow. So now Wolfinger he got ninety dollars for a thirty-dollar cow what would die anyway. Yah, that fellah is the limit posiéively.” ‘“‘ Aaron,” I says, ‘I betcha that trim- mer Wolfinger put that oil on the river himself schon.” “Qi, oi, oi! I never did think of that,” Aaron says. “I'll betcha that’s just what he done. Well, Phares, I tell you I would THE ARGOSY. have no dealings by that fellah. If I should buy one egg off him, it would be rotten, understand.” Just then Hezekiah Hartmann, who was road-superwisor, came in and sat down by the wall. “Wie geht’s, Mr. Hartmann. Schones wetter,’ I says. ‘‘ Are you sick that you don’t drink somethings? Have one on me,” ‘“T don’t care if I do,” he says. sungheit |” “ Gesungheit is’ besser wie krankheit— health is better than sickness,” I return to him. ‘Aaron, have you seen that crook Wolfinger dees morgen?” Mr. Hartmann asked. “Not yet,” Aaron says, looking at the clock. ‘ He’ll be along pretty soon now.” Then he says, joking: “Has he stung you, too, Hezekiah?” “Yah; oder he thinks he has maybe. That fellah is a swindler.” ‘“Now what has he done?” I asked. “TH tell you, Mr. Himmel. Last fall I bought some timberland off him what I want to make into cordwood und sell it to the brickyard. Now, that timberland lies up the hill the other side of his farm, und 1 would have to drive over his mead- ow, understand, to get out to the road. So when I made my bargain with him, I says: ““* Asa, when I get that wood cut I want to haul it out across your land. You make no objections?’ *°* Objections? No,’ should I make objections? wood you want, Hezekiah.’ ‘“So I been cutting wood all winter, and now I’m ready to haul it out to the brick- yard. And now, wass kennst du, Mr. Him- mel? Dees morgen my hired man says he heard that Wolfinger was going to make me pay for going on his land!” “What a scandal!” I says. ‘“‘ But how can he make you pay when he said he had no objections?’ “T have no written agreement, under- stand,” he says. “I just saw my law- yer, and he says I gotta pay if Wolfinger says so. By golly, that fellah oughter be in jail! Here he lets me cut my wood all winter before he says he is going to charge me for hauling across his land.” “Holds mahl—keep quiet! Here he comes now,” Aaron says. ee Ge- he says. ‘ Why Haul all the Gomichbooks (E©)