The Argosy, Vol. 75, No. 4 — page 247: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DOUBLE-ACTION BURGLAR. wasn't. takin’ any chances on fallin’ down at the wind-up by bumpin’ into four or five husky guys all full of din- ner and ready to fight. I weaved my way through the hall to the bedroom I came in through and got to the win- dow. Bill, scoutin’ up and down the road, gave me the office that every- thing was clear below and down I came. “Say, you ought to seen him look at me when I came out through the side gate! The hat caught him first— for a minute he didn’t think it: was me. Then when we took a drill down the street and I passed under a lamp- post he took a good slant at the clothes. ‘“* Some class to the new scenery,’ he says; ‘I see now why you wanted to do the inside work.’ > <Not at -all’=_-- says; “but: rou didn’t expect me to give a street parade after meetin’ up with Prince until I’d grabbed a new bunch of bags, did you?’ ‘““T could see Bill was kind of sore ¥ 949 over me gettin’ the swell suit so easy, but he didn’t say anything until we'd walked on a block or so. Then he says: ‘How was the plant?’ “Fine. and dandy,” L-<says:— “it looked to me hke some o’ them gals was simply scatterin’ their spare junk around to see how much furniture they could cover with it. F’r instance,’ I says, “here’s a necklace,’ and I shoved my hand into my pocket. And then I pulled it out again, and then I stood still and looked at Bill a couple o’ sec- onds and saw about six of him. _* Because it wasn’t my pocket at all I'd put my hand into—it was Colonel Peterby’s pocket—and my pocket was layin’ on the floor of the colonel’s clothes - closet with all that junk in em.” Denver Jimmie ceased with a heavy sigh, and his friend Mr. Hoban sighed in sympathy. “Oh, well, it ain’t so bad,” he said; “you got a swell suit of clothes out of it, Jimmie. But I'll bet Bill was good and sore.” THE PATIENT LOVER. Parricta hath so haughty grown, Since she hath reached eighteen, ‘That, seeing her, you’d scarce have known She once loved me so mean. But I shall not bemoan the fate That leaves me thus ignored; : My motto is to watch and wait / My ultimate reward. For should she love some other swain, To wed her would be wo; And if she does not, then, again She'll turn to me, I know. When Patty reaches thirty-two, And nearing thirty-three, I’m pretty sure, ‘twixt me and you, She'll fix her eye on me: For what the maids of eighteen slight, The virtues they ignore, Are apt to fill them with delight When nearing thirty-four! John Kendrick Bangs. (E@) comichook