The Argosy, January 1907 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN EXPENSIVE BOARDER. “You don’t mean to tell me,” he said in a trembling voice, “that you have taken charge of a child—or a baby?”’ he added, with a shudder of recollection. Mrs. Scales laughed. ‘“Not quite so bad as that,” she said. “Fancy Fred traveling with a baby! Why, he dislikes them even more than you do. Come along and I'll introduce you to Jim. He’s in the breakfast- room,” She led the way, and throwing open the door, pointed to a corner of the room. ‘"That’s Jim,” she said, smiling. Standing beside a heavy table, to the leg of which he was attached by a stout chain, was a huge bulldog, pure white, with the exception of a black-and-tan patch over one eye, which gave it the ap- pearance of having been discolored in a fight. - His lower jaw, projecting like the ram of a man-of-war, disclosed several dirty and distorted teeth, above which ap- peared the tip of a little pink tongue. With his kinky tail and stout, bandy legs he was as truculent-looking an animal as could well be conceived, an additionally sinister expression’ being imparted by a slight obliquity of vision. Utterly at a loss for words, Mr. Scales gazed on the visitor with every mani- festation of abhorrence. “You can’t think,’’ continued Mrs. Scales brightly, “what an_ intelligent fellow he is. He made friends with me at once. Fred regularly introduced me to him. - He said: ‘Now, Jim, this is your mistress for a week, and you must take good care of her,’ and do you know, the dear fellow actually came up and licked.my hands. Didn’t,you, old boy?” The scrubby tail wriggled spasmodic- ally, and a lumbering movement of the fore legs seemed to express assent. ‘Why didn’t you telephone me,” de- manded Mr. Scales, “so that I could get home in time?” “In time for what?” asked the wife. ‘In time to get an introduction, too,” replied the husband. “I’m not par- ticularly fond of having my hands licked by a dog, but I should prefer that to having my legs bitten.” “Don’t be so. childish, remonstrated Mrs. Scales. George,” ‘Jim never 221 bites. He has only bitten three people in his life, and one of them was Fred himself. Fred accidentally stepped on his toe, and before Jim knew what he was doing he had caught him by the leg. It took ever so long to get him off. Tred says bulldogs don’t think very quickly, but Jim was awfully sorry when he realized what he had done. It was quite pathetic to see his repentance.”’ ‘There'll be plenty of pathos if that brute catches: me by the leg,” said Mr, Scales hotly, “only he won’t have much time to do the repentance act. I can’t think how you could be so_ foolish. Where on earth are we going to keep him? We can’t turn this room into a dog-kennel.”’ “He has been accustomed to sleep in Fred’s bedroom,” suggested Mrs. Scales tentatively. “You don’t suppose he’s going to sleep in our room?” shouted Mr. Scales. “TI think I see myself getting out of bed in the night with that beast in the room. I would as soon step on an alligator.”’ Mrs. Scales shrugged her: shoulders. ‘Very well,” she said resignedly. “ If you are such a coward, I suppose the poor dog will have to sleep in here. And now [ am going to give you an introduc- tion. Perhaps you had better sit down. And do try not to look so scared. Dogs don’t like people who are afraid of them.” Mr. Scales took a chair, and assumed the conventionally pleasant expression of a man having his photograph taken, while Mrs. Scales, kneeling beside the dog, stroked his massive head. “Jim,” she said, ‘that is your master for a week. Do you understand? ”’ Apparently, the dog did not, for he de- voted all his energies to an attempt to lick Mrs. Scales’s face. “Stupid!” said the lady, giving him a sharp little pat. “ That is your master, there. Look!” She pointed to Mr. Scales, and Jim fixed a stern eye on him. “Don’t do that,” expostulated Mr. Scales sharply. “ Don’t point at me like that. He thinks you are sicking him on.” “ Stuff!” replied the wife. ‘ That’s only his natural expression. Now I’m going to unfasten the chain.” Before her husband could remonstrate, EOMICLOOOKS (COL