Argosy All-Story Weekly, Vol. 123, No. 4 — page 82: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

083 him the right way. He might have given a million apiece to a score of charities, and nobody would have been thrilled. But by distributing to thirsty America a couple of cases of whisky, he jumped imto instant popularity—as Mr. Furstenburg. In the meanwhile he was investigating the villages which lay convenient to Albe- marle Sound, and searching into the rec- ords of their resident medical men. Keep- ing faith is perhaps a curious trait for a pirate, and Teach frankly did not want to be bothered with a doctor. But he had promised his -crew a first-class practitioner, and having promised, was at pains to see he did not get an inferior article. One rather chuckles to think what will be the feelings of the medical gentlemen in that district when they find that the dark philanthropist with the beak nose and the bit chipped out of his ear who put them through their paces in 1919 was the notori- ous Teach. The twenty thousand dollar a year position was a perfectly true yarn. He was purposely vague about locality. It would hardly have done to have said he was hunting for a surgeon for the Litton- dale. There were quacks, and cranks, and fools, and blitherers that he turned down promptly enough; as he set an age limit of thirty-five for the Littondale’s surgeon, many were too old; and many very able G. P.’s who had not kept up their surgery were disqualified for that special reason. In the end he fined down his possibles to four, and I shall not create jealousy in the neigh- berhood of Albemarle Sound by mentien- ' Jng names of the three who had a four to one chance of being kidnaped. Dr. Peter Cray of Conistone was the suc- cessful (or, if you prefer it, unfortunate) winner of the competition, and so he alone will be pilloried in this memoir. Cray was a Harvard man, but he had journeyed via a Rhodes scholarship to Ox- ford, and had got an M.D. there to tack on to his American degree. He had also qualified in San Francisco, and somewhere in the Middle West, but I have lost my note which told me exactly where. Anyway, he possessed the necessary “ string of letters after his name ” that these ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. modern pirates with the board school sharpness demanded. He had the best local practice at Conistone, where he lived and was honorary surgeon to the hospital at the adjacent county town of Kilnsey. Altogether he was on paper quite the man for surgeon on a pirate ship, though to be just, three of his neigkbors round the Sound equally attained to that dubious distinc- Nature has constructed some men spe- cially to be doctors, and Peter Cray was one of them. He was big, and calm, and strong, and he exuded vitality. He owned breeziness and humor. If he sat for ten minutes by a sick woman’s bedside and said, “ Come, now, I thought you were ill. Why, you are pulling round splendidly,” well, there was the com- mencement of a cure. Incidentally he was a good pathologist and a very tolerable all-round surgeon who _ . knew enough to cover up a mistake when he made one. It was said of Cray by his professional brethren that he might diag-° nose gall-stones, and operate for gall-stones, and find no gall-stones, but yet would tri- umphantly produce gall-stones for the Pa tient’s edification when he emerged ine the anesthetic. A very sound all-round doctor was the grizzled Peter Cray, M.D., M.R.CS., and all the rest of it. (I never can remember all these strings of letters, especially the efforescent American varieties.) But he was not a money maker, first because he was fool enough not to charge for two- thirds of his services, and secondly because of another reason who dyed her hair a dif- ferent color three times a week, and wore more scent than the State law ought .to have permitted. . Everybody said Cray was far too good for a one-eyed country practice like Con- istone. But then it was common knowl- edge he had committed one sin of omis- sion just after he had qualified—and the lady had married somebody else, and an- other sin of commission just when he put up his plate, and he had never had the pluck to divorce her. Doctors do seem to be especially liable to these lapses. I want to write fairly about Dr. Cray, lODOOLKK —. STATE INGO CO