Argosy All-Story Weekly, April 14, 1928 — page 150: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

288 My room at the hotel was in the rear, and looked out upon a cornfield. With the next day’s dawn came a rack- et that resembled a large part of the Whirled War. I was about to dream of bigger and better profits, when my dream was knocked bowlegged by a flock of shriek- ing crows. Hopping out of bed at least five hours ahead of my usual time, I peer out the window and note the fol- lowing tableau: Atop a rock line-fence stood Beans, flapping wings and tongue with assort- ed fury. Encircling him was six black crows, who seemed to have but one thought in mind, viz., to treat Mr. Beans to a taste of old style pugey- lism, As I looked on, spellbound, three crows made a charge of the Fight Bri- gade, and gave Beans a few nifty belts on his kisser with their wings, legs, or what have they. Hé€ knocked two crows as cold as Mr. Zero’s grandpop, all of which seems to tickle him silly. “ Ney-ah out and nev-ah ovah!” he remarks, giving one and all a wicked smile. Whilst the two crows were enjoy- ing a snappy course in astronomy, the other four pals came up and made a concerted attack upon the scrappy par- rot. With feathers fluffed like the fur on a mad cat’s back, Mons. Beans be- gan to sock away for dear life. Down goes another crow, making a score of three to nothing, favoring Beans. Meantime, the remaining three corn- swipers, enraged at what had befell their little playmates, dashed at Beans from all sides, causing the parrot to pivot like a merry-go-round. Then the third crow makes a swan- dive onto the parrot’s neck, and begins THE uv u ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY, to peck away like it was feeding time. This annoys Beans quite the little, don’t think it didn’t! : “Once seen, nev-ah forgotten!” yelps Beans, at the same upsetting a crow on his ear. Whilst the second three birds were battling Beans, the punch-drunk trio returned from slumberland, after which the whole six drew off for a consultation. After plenty of cawing, the six decided on a new plan of battle, and then the riot begins! For a few moments, the mélée was all to the Verdun. Feathers to the right, feathers to the left, feathers to the middle! “The sight of a lifetime!” squarks Beans, doing his stuff. Soon the entire crow family became peeved more than plenty and decide to make the fighting parrot kiss the canvas. ‘Three attacked from the rear and three attacked from the front. With a rush, they swooped down up- on Beans, upset him like a tramp dog does an ashcan, then piled all over him. It was now or never! With his back to the ground, and feet in the air, Beans put up the real Battle of the Century, and for much less than a million bucks. He catches one crow with his left leg, and tosses him high over the stone fence; he socks a second with his other leg, and knocks hint for a loop; he jabs away at a third with his beak, and makes him caw for help. How the so ever, six against one, my countrymen, is six against one! Fighting to the last dig and scratch, the last drop of spirit within him, the noble Beans squarks his final battle cry: “One at a time, boys; one at a time I” END Le} w The seventeenth successful guess on the authorship of “Eyes West!” out of 318 submitted to date—March 16—was made by Robert Bryan, of Toledo, Ohio. 9A comiebooks : milion * =| , Be ft : Atv. Py Pye * By : t Sen Sy > ‘ , folie “ > Wr yt