Argosy All-Story Weekly, Vol. 189, No. 4 — page 114: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

584 me a queer look. ‘ What’s your game around here, anyhow? And how long are you figuring on staying?” I didn’t like to say right out how I was threatened with the con. I was kind of sensitive about not being as husky as I looked. ‘“T’ve always heard how healthy and prosperous this country is, and I thought I’d come and look it over,’ I told him. “ If I can pick up a good job, maybe I'll stick for keeps. As to my shooting ability— well, I’ve traveled around a bit in my time.” I didn’t think it was necessary to tell ‘em how I’d been working in a shooting gallery in Coney Island for the last two years, ever since my lungs had started to go bad on me and I had to knock off from my regular trade, that of ventriloquist in Punch and Judy shows. When I had to leave the puppets, I was all broke up, ’cause I was the best voice thrower in the business and was making lots of jack. While I didn’t have to use my lungs on that shooting gallery job, the pay was awfully low compared to what I had been getting. I soon saw if I wanted to save anything, I couldn’t stick in that shooting gallery forever. So I took every chance I got to practice, blazing away at clay pipes and bull’s-eyes with both rifles and pistols, hop- ing to get good enough to pick up a job on some vaudeville circuit. I put in hours and hours on that sort of training. Just before the doctor chased me West, a booking agent had given me a tryout and was tickled to death with my stuff—said he’d never seen anything like it. While he was fixing up a contract with the Keith people, the X-rays showed up that spot on my lungs. Then I couldn’t put my John Hancock on the papers when they came. There were tears in my eyes when I sent ’em back with a little note, explaining how I’d have to turn it down ’cause I had to go West for my health. It was every bit as big a blow to me as leaving the puppet shows. It seemed as if I was the most unlucky devil ever born— having so much natural ability and never given the chance to use it. ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. But I didn’t think it was just the thing to tell the crowd in the Wet House bar this whole story of my life. They might not think so much of my shooting ability if they found out how I’d got my education. And I wanted to make as big a hit as I could with the boys. Let them wonder! You couldn’t blame me. ‘““Didn’t I hear you say you were. trying to find a job?” the sheriff broke in. “ If you are, you’re just the kind of man I’m looking for—I can always tell an honest fellow by taking one squint at his face. You see, I’m the express agent here as well as the sheriff, and it’s mighty hard to handle these two jobs alone. : ‘“* 'You’ve showed me how you can shoot, and f take it you’ve got brains enough to make out waybills and the likes of that. We’re handling more shipments every day, and along with the law, it’s getting too much for one man. What do you say to helping me out?” I had to get a job somewhere. My roll wouldn’t last more than two months, and I couldn’t expect to get my lungs healed by that time. So this seemed like a good chance. “The express business would suit me fine!” I says, edging my way to the sheriff’s side. “ I’m right there on figures, and I could soon learn to take care of the express work, giving you your time to look after the law. But how much would the job pay?” The sheriff took off his big ten-gallon hat and scratched his gray head. “I can’t afford to pay more than forty dollars a month and board out of my own pocket for the express work. But the county al- lows me fifty dollars a month for a deputy, and I just lost Sam Harkins, my old side- kick, about a month ago. I'll tell you what Tl do, Tl give you that appointment, and along with the express work, that ‘ll make ninety a month and board. That’s not at all bad!” “T’ll say it’s not!” I spouts, quick as I could get out the words. “Ill get on the job any time you say!” The sheriff stroked his beard and smiled, pleasedlike. ‘‘ Come to the express office at seven to-morrow morning, then. I didn’t get your name!” Gomichbooks (E@)