Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TUNED OUT. “Have you or have you not got a china or a porcelain basin that will hold about a quart of water?” repeated Ramier, more loudly, as he stolidly shoved the spoon to a more comfortable distance from his nose. ‘““ Nu-teaky-waank!” growled Billy, pre- paring to get up. : ‘“Hah!” cried Ramier, releasing the spoon, whereupon Billy at once impressed it back into service. ‘‘ This will do.” The “ this” referred to by Ramier was a large glass bowl that reposed on a counter and contained a brave showing of lonely cherries at large in a red colored sirup. It represented Mother Bain’s simgle error in judgment throughout her hitherto unbrok- en chain of successes. For the past three weeks it had in vain made coquettish ad- vances to the student palate. Not a stu- dent, not a palate would touch it. It wasa signal failure and a total loss. The mere sight of it had come to be a thorn in Mother Bain’s side, and the things she muttered about it under her breath whenever her look plumbed its distressingly unchanging depths were less maternal than such mutters are cracked up to be. With that perfect single-mindedness which none but a scientist can effect, Ra- mier at once lifted the offending bowl from its anchorage and vanished with it through the doorway of the laboratory. Mother Bain happened to come into the shop just at that moment. She was in plenty of time to see her stock of “ Cérise Supréme ” go bolting out in Ramier’s arms, Dud and unnatural child though it was, Mother Bain was not the soul to permit such a brazen kidnaping to pass unsung. Her first intention was to looS a healthy shriek and cry either “Stop thief!” or “ Murder!” or both. Similar neat and un- gaudy remarks had served her well in the past and had caused many a defaulter to stop, trembling, in his tracks. Mother Bain’s second and cooler thought was to do nothing of the sort. As she in- stantly reflected, there was her glass bowl to consider. With a determined glint in her beady eye, and a surprising firmness and agility in her limbs, she headed for the doorway through which Ramier and her bow! and her suddenly most precious 809 “Cérise Supréme ”—precious inasmuch as somebody so evidently wanted it even to the point of committing a theft in order to get it—had just vanished. This move on the part of Mother Bain was more than Billy’s curiosity could stand. Even the enchaining powers of a Darktown Special could not keep him from witnessing the dénouement of such an intriguing mys- tery as the startling disappearance of Mother Bain’s stock of ‘‘ Cérise Supréme ” in the arms of one of the most prominent members of his class; of one who was now, presumably, a lunatic and at large. As Billy described it to me, the scene when he arrived at the doorway of the laboratory—née back parlor—was one of utter confusion. It was a confusion in which Drusilla, Ramier, and Mother Bain all seemed to be, and were, talking at once. He assures me that Mother Bain held the lead by a pitch of at least twelve notes. The bowl of ‘‘ Cérise Supréme ” was an ad- ditional complication inasmuch as it had been converted into a loving cup, equal sec- tions. of which were being grasped by three pairs of hands. 3 _ “Tf you break this bowl,” Ramier was hissing into Mother Bain’s left ear, “ you will hold our experiment up for another hour, and I won’t be responsible for my ac- tions if you do.” ‘Tf you break this bowl,” Mother Bain was hissing—much louder and much hissier, as Billy insists, into Ramier’s right ear, “T’ll charge you the ten dollars it cost me and the five dollars’ worth of stewed cher- ries that’s in it.” ““If you would both stop talking, and listen to each other for a minute,” Drusilla was saying stonily, ‘‘ we could end this ridic- ulous situation.” Some word or two of what Mother Bain was hissing must have filtered in through Ramier’s ear, because he put an end to the business by releasing one hand from the bowl and fishing about in his trousers pocket until he got out fifteen dollars. He waved these at Mother Bain until she, too, re- leased one hand from the bowl! and taking the money managed, with a dexterity that was amazing, to count it. Then, breathing vigorously, she loosed the bowl entirely and, oO Comicbooks C@