Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 104: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

894 takable. Her father, too, threw out hints that had their effect. ‘“ Abner,” she exploded one day, “ aren’t you ever going to do anything around here? Popper is getting real provoked at you.” He raised deprecatory eyebrows. “Well, I don’t know, Salviny,” he drawled. ‘“’Pears like I’m keeping the boarders contented, anyhowgand that’s say- ing a good deal.” Then he chuckled. ‘ Reminds me of Sam Terwilliger, who used to live over to Tutt’s Corners, and his horse, Job. Sam wa'n’t exactly what you call a good pro- vider, especially when it came to live stock, he figuring that the less you fed a horse or a cow the better it was, providing the critter just kept a going. Well, Sam was a kind of an ingenious cuss and he got the idee that if he could fool Job into thinking he was getting a real feed when he was only getting a snack it would keep the critter contented and happy and able to do a full day’s work. So he put magnifying specs on the horse so’s a handful of oats would look like a peck to him and I’m bound to say, Salviny, that it did seem to make the animal easier in his mind though he didn’t get any fatter. But one day Sam happened to get around in front of Job when the horse had his specs on and Job thought he saw a forkful of hay coming his way and the starving critter was that eager that he just reached out and took a big mouthful of Sam’s chin whiskers. Sam was mighty proud of them whiskers, too—big, bushy crop he had. Well, Salviny, the specs got broke in the fight and it was as much as three months before Sam got those whiskers to looking good again and he never did get to feeling right about it because the S. P. C. A. heard the story and stepped in and made Sam do better by Job.” Salviny heard this extraordinary narra- tive through in a steely silence. Then she drew a deep breath. “ Weill, Abner,” she said, “ I’m not aim- ing to marry you and have to wear magni- fying specs to see my victuals. Here!” She snatched off her engagement ring and thrust it on him. “I’m through! And I reckon that when you see popper you'll be through, too,” ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. -_- She flounced away, giving him no chance to reply. But for once Abner wasn’t re- minded of anything funny and probably wouldn’t have had any reply to make. Mr. Taug was a fast worker, given an opportunity. “You know, Abner,” he said with every appearance of sorrowful reluctance, a quar- ter of an hour later, “ I think a heap of you, but should I carry you as a free boarder any longer when it don’t mean nothing to Salviny? Now, as man to man, Abner, should I?” ‘ Well, no, Sam,” drawled Mr. Hitchcock gently, “not unless you wanted some one around at dinner time to be nice to the beans and the corn—just as if they had come out of the garden—so as to help keep the other boarders sort of quiet and peace- able. Moral effect, Sam. But prob’ly you don’t, Sam, and it’s all right with me. I’m needing a rest, anyhow, and I guess I'll lay off for a while and go fishing.” Mr. Taug snorted, but Abner did not stay for an answer. He did stop, though, for a word with Lucy, who waylaid him on his way out. ‘It’s a shame, Abner,” said Lucy hot- ly. “Sam Taug hasn’t sense enough to know how much help you was. to him.” ‘Well, Lucy;” Abner replied soberly, “ guess maybe Sam ain’t all wrong either. Prob’ly I haven’t got much head for busi- ness and I’m obliged to say that real hard work don’t seem to be in my line. Pears like I’ve been vaccinated against it, Lucy; it don’t catch with me.” ‘Don’t believe it,” said Lucy stoutly. “Why don’t you get a job and show Sam Taug where he’s wrong?” Then she added slyly: “ Maybe if you did, Abner, Salviny would make up with you again.” Abner shook his head. ‘“ Guess not, Lucy. I—TI thought a lot of Salviny, but [ guess it was a mistake, her and me getting engaged. Salviny’s ambitious, Lucy, and she ain’t a,.going to be satisfied with any man that ain’t a nacheral born hustler and can make a, pile of money.” A twinkle came into his eyes. ‘‘ And she don’t like my stories either. Like as not I’d plague her to death if we was married.” Lucy drew a deep breath. “ All girls oO Ccomicbooks C@