Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 150: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

784 my confession, return in peace to the land beneath the boiling seas, and leave me alone!” So that was why I had been kidnaped! Well, at least it let Yuri out of being an absolute fool. ‘“ Poblath, old friend,” I replied, “I am not dead. The ant-man lost me in the fog. And I have returned, not to curse you, but tather to thank you, for you have saved me from an unwished marriage.” And then I got across the explanation, which he had so long denied me. When I had finished, there was no longer any doubt in Poblath’s mind that I was still his friend; and he warmly patted my jaw, the conven- tional Porovian token of friendship. But I fancied that his late sweetheart, Bthuh, would not be so easy to appease. From the jail I went to my rooms for a shave and a clean toga, and then repaired to the garage where I had rented the ker- kool, my intention being to try and arrange to pay for the loss on the installment plan. Just think, the money which it would cost me might just as well be going to buy a new car instead of paying damages for a Jost one. But, to my surprise, the kerkooloolo in- formed me that my kerkool had been found, with its gyros still running, standing beside the wrecked ant-car, and had been brought back to Kuana intact, so that all I owed was an extra day’s rent, for which he would gladly trust me until next ticket-day. On returning again to my rooms, I found a messenger with a peremptory summons to attend the king forthwith, in spite of the fact that it was now nearly time for the evening meal. Evidently, old Kew had heard of my return. He had! When I entered the audience chamber, I entered the presence of an awful wrath. Kew was seated on his royal couch, and standing beside him was a she-woofus named Bthuh. Never before had I so stirred a woman’s rage, and I hope never to do so again. The king demanded an explanation, which I gave readily enough, but which did not convince him in the least. “Cabot Bar-sarkar,” he spoke, “I do not believe you. Concern for the safety of ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. the princess is very commendable. But, if it were that which actuated you, you would have inquired first from me, and would have learned that she had left a note with me, giving word of her departure for Ktuth. ‘* No, you took the absence of the princess as a mere convenient excuse to desert your bride at the joining-stand, unmindful of the high honor which I was conferring on you in giving the hand of a sarkari to you, lately a commoner, nay, even a beast from another world. Whether or not she will still have you, is for the lady to say; but, as for me, you have greatly incurred the royal dis- pleasure, and I am almost minded to revoke your rank. You came to us from among those accursed Formians, under whose thraldom I am chaffing. Verily, I believe the ancient proverb: ‘ No good cometh out of Formia.’ Go! I have spoken.” “But J have not spoken,” interjected Bthuh, ever the disrespectful. ‘ Know, base earth-thing, that no one can injure the pride of Bthuh with impunity. You, who could have given me your love, or even merely your hand, and have received in re- turn a love, the passion of which is un- equaled on this planet; chose instead to mete out to me, who am your social superior, the worst insult which a man can give to a woman. ‘““ T condescend to link myself with a com- moner, and for reward am treated as dirt, am ground under heel like a brink. Never can you wipe out this insult. Never shall T reconsider my present determination not to marry you.” “For this relief, much thanks,” said I to myself. “But you still have me to cope with,” she continued, “you brink! Mathlab! Earth-man!” A particularly delicate touch, putting “earth-man ” as the climax of a list of distasteful creatures! “ Bthuh will have her revenge,” she con- cluded; ‘‘ never fear. Now / have spoken.” I drew a long breath, as one who has just finished receiving a flogging. So that was over.—The lady is now a very good friend of mine, and begs me to tone down this transcription of her tirade. But why not tell the story just as it happened? bot Eomicbooks (S)