Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 43: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BORROWED PLUMES. that you should be disturbed by finding a stranger in place of him.” ‘““T came unannounced for an excellent reason,” the lady rejoined. ‘I started at ‘once upon reading that scurrilous paragraph in La Voix Parisienne!” George’s equanimity began to return. Things might be much worse. The arrival of the countess—of whose existence he had not been aware—certainly complicated matters, for the count at least; but he, George, could easily smooth over the affair of the perambulator, and that by simply telling the truth. He felt himself on safe ground. “Tt am deeply humiliated,” he began, “to have to confess that the unfortunate paragraph was due entirely to me. But first, let me explain that as a sort of—er— prank, I am for a few days enjoying the prestige of your honored name. I am an American—an utter stranger in Paris. So the chance of discovery is negligible. It amused your husband to remain entirely incognito while here; and so, I have been assuming his status. Thus, as you can readily understand, he has been spared the nuisance of social exactions, or the unwel- come attentions of reporters. Meanwhile, I beg you to believe that I have conducted myself in the most discreet manner, spend- ing most of my time at the museums, churches, historical monuments, and thea- ters. Sauerbraten knows this. He has ob- tained my tickets of admission.” Both looked at the valet, who, his aplomb recovered, bowed and murmured, “ Quite so, monsteur.” “ Unfortunately,” continued George, “three days ago I noticed a perambulator standing precariously in the street. Its hood was drawn, and I naturally supposed it held an infant. So, as there was no nurse about, I lifted it from its dangerous position back on to the pavement. At this instant its owner, a young woman, rushed out from a little shop where she had been making purchases, and demanded of me what I was doing? And I explained, and —I can only plead that I am young and - unmarried, madame, and the day warm and alluring, and that the young woman was very pretty. In short, I wheeled her car- 669 riage home for her. That is all. I have never seen her since.’’ The countess sniffed. ‘ All?” She in- quired. ‘“‘ How, then, does this charming idyl come to be associated with Edouard’s name?” “ Because, madame, I have been using the name of Count Vaudreuil, and even his visiting cards. Those were my instructions. Naturally, I must stick to one personality ‘at atime. It was inevitable that the young woman and I should introduce ourselves. © I gave the only name I was at liberty to use at the moment.” “* Even so, you should never have passed out his name to a chance woman of the street! You admit you have never seen her since. The amenities would have been sat- isfied had you given her any name at all! Now the court circles will be buzzing with the scandal. My Edouard, wheeling a nameless creature’s brat openly through the streets of Paris! I—”- George, in his eagerness ventured to in- terrupt a lady of quality. “But there was no baby! She uses the perambulator for her little shopping tours. To be exact, it contained a large bologna sausage, some pickled herring, and—” He paused in alarm at the stricken look that came over the countess’s face. The color flooded it until she was a deep car- mine, and she gasped for air. | “Oh!” she almost shrieked. “ Mon Dieu! This is frightful beyond words of mine! A sausage—my Edouard, ruined for life by a b-bologna sausage! Monsieur, have you then no sense of proportion? A baby would have been bad enough, but understandable. Men in all ages have been known to feel solicitude for the progeny of other women than their wives; I should have been disconsolate, but not utterly shamed. But what will happen when it becomes noised about that Edouard trun- dled another woman’s sausage through the public streets? Monsieur, it is I who as- sure you the ribald mockery of the masses will rock thrones when this becomes known. You have imperiled a dynasty!” George cowered in his chair before this hysterical outburst. He feebly tried to stem the tide. comicbooks.cor