Argosy All-Story Weekly, Vol. 124, No. 3 — page 56: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

430 We aim to load up the Lizzie with a lot of prub and a couple rifles and some smokin’ and eatin’ tobacco and a blanket-roll and go out and give the wonders of this here glorious land of the free a look-see and kind of decide whether it needs any more amend- in’ or not, and if so, as to what respects. Likely we'll sleep out a lot, and likely we'll hunt sometimes, or maybe ketch-us a mess of trout sometimes or just laze around camp if we feel so inclined. It’s either that or give it all to the bootleggers, and me and Bruce never did care an awful lot for wood alcohol. So John, suppose you unhalter that little gasoline Lizzie and leave us give her a sort of survey.” Honest John did not exhibit any signs of disapproval at these revelations. One who knew him well would have judged him in high good humor as he declared heartily, ‘Boys, you come to the right party. I got just the car for you. Second hand, maybe, but ain’t been run five hundred miles, I'll bet you. Took hef in on a bad bill, so the price is bound to be all right. Why, I’d use that car myself if it wasn’t I had one already. Come in and look her over.” The motor vehicle in question reposed at the rear of the hotel shed where it had gathered cobwebs and dust for many long months. It was a short, squat, square, pug- nosed, bow-legged, and altogether homely little caricature of an automobile. It had ‘ the stream lines of a cracker box mounted on roller skates. Technically it might have been catalogued as pleasure car, but about the only person certain of getting any pleasure from it would be an onlooker with an appreciation of the ridiculous. Honest John Burke rested one hand lov- ingly on the tin flank of the aged Lizzie as he expatiated on its merits. “ Almost new, you might say. Top and storm curtains thrown in. ‘Tool-box with complete outfit of tools including spark wrench, bottle of rubber cement and six extra tire nipples. Four first-class tires and an extra tire for emergencies. Electric lights taking their power off the best mag that ever threw a spark. Fine upholstery throughout—look for yourself. And, yes, I'll throw in a complete set of 1917 license plates. What*more can you boys want!”’ ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. Bruce Ray and Wally Newell gave the aged vehicle their sober, deliberate consid- eration. Ray, who was four inches better than six feet in height and built m propo- tion, stooped down and peered solemnly under the chassis until the dust he raised set him sneezing. Newell laid a gingerly hand on the steering wheel, wiggled the spark and gas levers, and finally gazed pro- foundly at the engine under its tin hood. Each in turn kicked all four of the tires. Then they withdrew a few paces and eyed the machine together. - “ Well,” Honest John suggested briskly, “she’s yours for five hundred, and that’s a hundred and fifty less’n a new one would “cost you. at say?” Ray eyed Newell and Newell eyed Ray. Ray muttered, “Is she all right, Wally?” and Newell replied peevishly, “ How the blazes should I know?” | Negotiations had reached an obstacle. Neither man trusted Honest John Burke, and neither had any idea what to do about it. Newell was proposing that they return on another day to close the deal when Ray had an inspiration. “The main and principal consideration with a Tin Lizzie is, can she go?” he de- clared profoundly. .“ John, suppose you show us she can so. Otherwise, so far as I’m concerned, she’s absolutely O. K.” Newell agreed quickly. ‘ Yes, let’s see her paces. That’s the big thing after all. If she can go—”’ _ If Honest John had any doubts on this point he covered them well with his fine assumption of scorn. “Can she go?” he cried. ‘‘ Why go is that Lizzie’s middle name. Yes, sir, not only can she go, but she can come back, too! Why, I'll] guarantee shel carry you boys just. as far as you ever want to ride in her.’ He repeated the guarantee as if he enjoyed it. “Just as far as you want to ride. Why, I’d show you how she goes right now, but, boys, it’s dinner time. Sup- pose we go up to the hotel and take a snack and meantime I'll have my mechanic dust off your car for you and slick her up a lit- tle. Then you'll see if she can’t go. You'll see! 9 Before he followed his guests to the ta- ecomiclooolks (CO