All Story Magazine, December 1913 — page 120: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

830 “That will do! Up with your hands —both of you—quick!” There was a glint of metal in Camp- bell’s hand, an oath from Parks, and a sudden stop to the movement of his right arm. “Get them up!” Mine rose at once. Parks, blazing- eyed and frothy, was a little slower, and in thirty seconds Campbell. had reached his side, slapped his pockets, extracted a weapon and a pair of handcuffs, and had backed away, say- ing pleasantly : ““T can use these. Now, please get over beside the gentleman who claims Iam MacGregor. We've had quite an argument about it, and he thinks I ought to be in jail, so I thought I'd wait to see what you thought about it. Thanks—’ as Parks moved obedient- ly to my side because he could not help himself. “ Stick out your right hand and you, Didderington, your left.” “Wh-what the deuce—” “That will do. I am going to give you a chance to tell this gentleman how much like MacGregor I am, and so that he won't get away from you while you’re boring him to death with the story, these handcuffs—how the deuce do you open them, Parks? You'd better do it.” And he handed the things to the de- tective in the most matter-of-fact way, but with a look in his eye and a manner of handling himself and the weapon he held that made resistance resemble suicide. Parks’s lips were tightly compressed, his eyes were like living coals, and his hands trembled perceptibly as he hand- cuffed himself to me. I was beginning to lose sight of the joke. *“Confound you!” I began a little warmly. ‘“ What—” “As you please,” Campbell agreed. “ But I should advise you to tell Mr. Parks what you think of me. He will appreciate it so much more. Let’s see. That telephone-cord should do very well. And please remember I have two hands and two revolvers very THE ALL-STORY MAGAZINE. handy, so I think you'd better not be foolish.” He laid the weapon down upon the table, too far away for either of us to reach and within an inch or two of his hand, all the while he acquired enough telephone-cord to rope a horse. “You may sit down, and Mr. Parks may kneel and listen to the story at your knee. Quite a happy idea. Quick! I haven’t much time.” I sat down, utterly dumfounded, and Parks, because he had to, qame down with me to his knees. I never took part in anything more systematic or idiotic, and I'll wager the detective, who went red and white in turns, didn’t either. There wasn’t a sound in the hall, and though there was plenty of life passing to and fro in the street, we might have had the house to ourselves. In an instant Campbell had wound the telephone-cord about us, under our armpits; then twisting it in about our arms, so that we could barely move them above the wrists, he finally made us both fast to the chair. Working like a streak and breathing a little more heavily, he said, when he was almost finished: “T hope Mr. Parks won't be so ridiculous as to hold the lady of the house responsible for this little enter- tainment. At present she is in a room not far from here, with the Countess of Didderington and the baby that caused all the trouble, and they haven’t the faintest idea of what is going on. * Didderington brought me in here to tell me how much like MacGregor I was; and I told the butler to show you in, so that the earl might have you all to himself to tell you about it. That's the whole plot.” He stepped back a few paces to re- view his handiwork. “Perhaps I'd_ better what?” Parks sputtered like a bad squib; and if the telephone-cord hurt him as much as it did me, I could not blame him. I was becoming irritable enough gag you— comicloooks.com