Adventure Magazine Cover — page 94: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

80 that bad night on top of his other troubles, sure combined to give him a discouraged appearance. “What’ll I do?” he says at last. Gawd, what’ll I do now?” “You might drown yourself,’ I says, tapping my nose judicious, “or shoot your- self, or eat wolf-pizen. There’s forty ways of committing suicide.”’ “Aw, you're as helpful as a broken leg,”’ he whines, wriggling like the saddle burnt him. “This is serious.” “You said it was ridiculous a while back,” I says. With that he shut up and didn’t say noth- ing till we’re almost back to the ranch. “Yd take it as a favor,” says he, stiff as dry rawhide, “if you’ll keep what’s hap- pened under your hat.” “You won’t mind if I tell Johnny?” I asks, cocking my eye at him. “Not Johnny!” he busts out. you do, don’t tell Johnny!”’ Everybody knows Johnny’s tongue is hung in the middle and flapping eternal. Johnny! What Johnny wouldn’t do to that piece of news with his sense of humor— Oh, Lordy! Lordy! “T ain’t gonna say nothing,” I told Andy, “but whyn’t you drag it? Quit the range? Go off some’ers and don’t never come back?” “There’s my claim,” he objects. ‘One hundred and sixty acres almost proved up, and that hundred and sixty I bought off Riley, and that jag o’ cows I got running with the Old Man’s bunch. Go off some’ers and lose it all? You’re talking foolish!” “You could sell all that stuff,” I suggests. “T couldn’t get nothing for it,”’ says he. “You never can at a forced sale.” Andy was always forehanded. Yes in- deedy. Not that he was exactly tight, y understand, but with all his fool love- making he never lost sight of the fact that there was a hundred cents to the dollar, corral-count. “That’s whatsa matter,’ he goes on. “She knows about that land and them cattle. They’re what she’s after. She thinks I’m a good thing. She’s a-fixing to trap me.’’ “Fixing?” I says. ‘Well, anyway, Andy old-timer,” I tacks on, “‘let’s hope Ole is a poor shot.” He was still cussing when we passed the windmill. “My “Whatever Adventure Andy didn’t eat much supper that night. Next morning the same. So it went for three days. Then, when nothing hap- pened and no signs of Susy or Ole, he began to chipper up and relish his meals. The fourth day was Monday. ‘Tuesday the Old Man sent Johnny with a message to Jake Dawson at Blue Creek. Saturday he come back and pounced down on us at supper. “Congrats!” bawls Johnny, slapping Andy so hard between the shoulders he lost control of a mouthful of coffee and got the hiccups immediate. “Congrats! Y’ old fox, whyn’t you tell us you was en- gaged to li’l Susy?” “Huh—? Andy—? Susy—? Susy Sven- son?” Them punchers went loony demented. And what they didn’t do to Andy! No good for him to deny everything, which he done vehement. No good a-tall. He didn’t eat no more supper. He took him- self and his hiccups out to the woodpile and sat down on the chopping-block. He must have done a power of thinking out on that chopping-block, ’cause next day at dinner, when Johnny got funny some more, Andy jumped him prompt as a split- second fuse. Johnny was so took by stirprize that Andy hit him three times before he could start. Johnny got a-going final, but one of them three cracks of Andy’s was a right to the chin and that had tuckered him at the go-off. Hedidn’thaveachance. Inside of four minutes he’s licked an’ hollering— “Uncle! Uncle! Leggo my ear!” Andy unclamped his teeth and got up off Johnny. “Listen!”’ says Andy to the rest of the boys. “Enough is a-plenty. I likea joke but I got my own notion of what’s wit and humor, and the next jigger that unloads congratulations on to me or sticks Susy into the conversation anywheres wants to come a-running, cause I will.” Nobody says a word, and he went out to the windmill to slosh water on the eye Johnny had closed for him. TWO days later Riley’s young one fetched over a letter for Andy. Andy took it like it’s a hot coal. “Whatcha grinning at?” he grunts to Riley’s kid. “T was just. a-thinkin’,” says the young se SS Eomicbooks.co =)