Adventure, August 1917 — page 169: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bearly Reasonable together. I had untied the cub to take it down to the creek for a drink, when the out- raged mother came along and forcibly freed her baby. She——”’ From th’ inside of th’ cabin comes th’ re- port of uh heavy shootin’ iron, and Mrs. Perfessor spills out of th’ door, and skates her three hundred pounds off th’ porch. She sets there and claws th’ hair out of her eyes. | ‘“‘Remarkable performance!” exclaims th’ -perfessor. ‘She never fired a shot before.”’ ‘““It—it—it buh—buh—busted,” she stut- ters, pointin’ at th’ cabin. ‘‘Wimmin ought ta let guns alone—also some men,” states Mighty, still prospectin’ fer lead on th’ rear of his personal property. “Gun,” snorts th’ injured lady. “It . wasn’t no gun.” ‘“‘What was it, my dear?” asks th’ Per- fessor. “Milk,” she snaps. ‘‘Milk for the bear. It just got hot and blew up.” “My ——,” gasps Magpie. “Ain’t that jist like uh woman. She forgot to punch uh hole in th’ top of th’ can.” ‘““Never mind,'my dear,” consoles th’ per- fessor. ‘‘My contention is proved, and we can leave at once. We’ll adjust matters with our employees and go home.” “What about th’ snake theory, Per- fessor?”’ I asks. “Do they or don’t they?” he asks, haulin’ out th’ remains uh that li’l book. “They don’t,” sez I. “They never have and never will.” 167 “At least I can point with pride to the fact that I hit somethingY’ remarks th’ doc with uh grin, when he gits on his burro and lights another one uh them stinkin’ rolls. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t have a rifle, I might have killed a bear.’’ “Tf yuh can see this far, and sabe th’ direction, yuh might point with pride to th’ fact that I can’t set down fer uh week,’’ orates Mighty. : “Perfessor,’ sez Magpie, “would yuh mind tellin’ me jist edzactly what compe- tent means?” ‘Th’ perfessor adjusts th’ remains uh that hard hat on his peaked head, and squints at Magpie over th’ top uh them funereal-rimmed glasses. ‘“‘Why,—er—it means, adequate or suffi- cient.” “Thanks,” sez Magpie. we have had. Adios.” | “Tt stands to reason—”’ begins Magpie, as th’ caravan goes off down th’ trail, with Mrs. Perfessor’s burro squeakin’ and groanin’ at th’ rear, but Mighty ceases scratchin’ long enough to snort: “Reason, eh? By cripes, Magpie, that’s uh fightin’ word with th’ Jones fambly from now on and ever more. [I listened to rea- son oncet, and look what she donetome. I got to sneak up on my belly to dinner, and pore ol’ Abe’s——’”’ 3 ‘“‘Abe,” sez Magpie, ‘‘is either uh bear angel by now or uh fugitive from Jap oil. Here’s an extra ten dollars, Mighty. Be glad.” ‘“‘That’s shore reasonable,” sez Mighty. ‘Tt shore is and FLAG TALKA by CHARLES C. JONES ry OU can watch with eager eye When the flags of earth go by For the single banner glorious and fit; But the Flag can mean to you, Be it yellow, red or blue, Not a flutter more than -what you mean to it. COmicloo CO 5}