Adventure Magazine Cover, October 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Freak morbid sensitiveness. As big emotionally as he was physically, his hatred of stupid curiosity was extravagant, and expressed itself in Gargantuan farce. A few of us knew that trouble at home had half em- bittered him; but only little Bill Wertz and I knew that his grotesque mask covered a mind of broad sweep and keen penetration, a spirit of tenderest sympathies and beauti- ful dreams. In this instance, moreover, he had other reasons for obscuring his trail. What time Littlefield was busy with the arnica-bottle, he told me about it. ‘‘T have some cousins here in Cambridge, North Avenue, and they have kept bothering me to come to stay with them. There’s an old couple and their old-maid daughter. The old man has been crazy for some time, but now he’s getting violent, and the women are afraid. They don’t want to send him away, but they want some one to keep him in order. So I’m going out there to succor fair ladies and spank the old hyena the first time he starts anything. I shall take half a bed-slat, whittled to a handle, and use it where it will do most good to the greatest number; then I’ll shut him up for a few days on bread and water. I know how to handle *em—just watch me.”’ “You'll get in big trouble, one of these days.” “Sure!” And his grin was irritating. When I had been lowered to the sidewalk, I made my way back to the Yard, reviewing the facts and the situation just presented to me. I had a clear mental image of Trainor with an aged lunatic across his lap, applying the bed-slat; for his mania was to keep his promises and purposes to the least detail. I still nursed a sprained thumb which was a souvenir of an apparently rash promise given by him to three burly Irish street- cleaners. One of them, tempted by the sight of Trainor’s gigantic height and long shambling gait, had playfully tripped him with a shovel. ‘‘Did you mean to do that, neighbor?” Trainor’s frown was benignly reproachful. “What av I did?” ‘“‘T should be obliged to lick you,” he said mildly. “Thin ye’ll lick the three av us!”’ another piped up. “That,” said Trainor, removing his coat, “Ig axiomatic}’’ 953 They took that as an insult. The en- suing debate involved a dozen students be- side us twain, as well as a score of muckers, three officers, an ambulance and the Fire Department before it was finished. But the contract went through as advertised, and only Trainor’s mysterious popularity with the Cambridge police prevented several arrests. CHAPTER II THE COUSIN FROM KENTUCKY "THE moving to North Avenue was accomplished to the complete frus- tration of the Tabbies, and it was some days before Trainor showed up again. It was a cool afternoon when I sat before my grate in Hollis 16 and heard his long bounding stride mounting the stairs. A heavy thump on the door, and in burst John, breezy as always and obviously full of affairs. One hand bore a shotgun, the other a pair of hand-cuffs, and the paper bag under his arm was sure to hold oranges. With his usual salutation, ““H’are yeh? How’s yer liver?”? he put gun and hand-cuffs in the corner, and lay down on the rug before the fire to attack the oranges. Knowing that his enjoyment of the fruit depended on my demonstrating anew that I could eat only one to his three, I began my hopeless task. “For the deranged gentleman?”’ I asked, nodding toward the hardware. “Bracelets for the Old Hyena!” he said in arich fruity tone. “‘Gun for the pigeons, by Gravy!”’ ‘‘Pigeons! What pigeons?” “Nutting’s pigeons.” He filled his pauses by stoking large sections of orange. “ Nut- ting lives next door—raises fancy pigeons— pigeons scratch up old folks’ garden—Nut- ting’s been warned—tells ’em to go to won’t shut up pigeons—lI shall shoot Mr. Nutting’s pigeons, me!”’ “You'll wind up in jail,” I opined. Vout!’ He ate oranges savagely and gave no sign of having heard. When he had thrown the last peel and the bag in the grate he grinned at me seductively and proposed: “Come out and stay with me to-night! Old man’s due for a tantrum this evening. Pigeons scratch early in the morning. Continuous perform- ance, not a dull minute! What?” CO MICLOOKS CO