Adventure, February 20, 1922 — page 88: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ga “ | Wy aN Te ith iy Ti ar ae a eiaey AY? oF girs NADP ie, | like. 86 “May your hair wear out And your nose break off © ‘And your teeth shake loose From whoopin’ cough. “Thish is the best wishes of your friend Muley Bowels, E-squire, December twenty- fourth.” ‘“‘Tha’s good,” says Dirty.. ‘“That’s fine. Roshes are blue, vi’lets are pink—uh—no, that ain’t it. Vi’lets are red and roshes are blue— Haw!. Haw! Haw! No knife can - cut our love-up. Haw! Haw! Haw!” “Why don’t you say something, Ike?” ie. “You're just as drunk as they “Yeah, but I’m mean drunk, Magpie. There ain’t nothin’ flowery about me. I. ain’t in no mood to wish whoopin’ cough nor - violets on mine enemies. Let’s go.’ “‘Sufferin’ sun-fish!” grunts Magpie. “Look at Rip Van Winkle.” “It’s me—Tellurium,” says the appari- tion. “Don’t I look it?” | He sure did. He’s got a old bear-skin overcoat on, and about three strings of sleigh-bells around his waist. He’s got a _ stove-pipe hat on his head and on his chin is a bunch of whiskers made from the tail of a white horse. Personally, I think he’s the dangest-looking thing I ever saw. “Well,” says Magpie, Tellurium, but I'm danged if I know what you do look like.” “Sandy Claws,” says Tellurium, proud- “T’m him. Come up to show you what can be done when you’ve got the ambition.” “Sandy Claws?” says Magpie. “No, no Tellurium. Sandy Claws don’t look like that. What do yuh want to do—scare folks? You look like a cross between a item of natural hist’ry and a smallpox germ.” “T comes into the program as a sort of special thing,” says Tellurium. “No,” says Magpie, “not into my pro- gram, Tellurium. You better go out and scare coyotes with that outfit. I ain’t using ~ no Sandy Clawses anyway.” “T’ve went to a lot of trouble,’”’ complains Tellurium. ““So’ve we,’ > says Muley. ‘He won’t let us shing, and now he don’t want no Sandy Clawses.” “T’d make a good one, ‘too,” says Tel- “Yeah, you would—not,” says Magpie. - “Y’d just as soon see a wild bull come in “‘you sure look it, | Fa _—* — Soe Pn nA te *: “een ee ee « de , 2. = Adventure there dressed like that Tellurium. You’d ruin the show, you know it.” “Let’s not talk to him,” says Muley. “He has no soul, Tellurium. “He won’t letus shing. Nossir. No Sandy Claws, no shongs—where’s your ol’ Christmas?” “Come on, Ike,” says Magpie. “Let ’em wail. I’m goin’ to pull off one show that Piperock can be proud of, A bet your life. > P Smith and Matilda Mudgett are there, sort of strutting around like a pair of fool-hens. Ricky Henderson, Wick Smith and Frenchy Deschamps are there, fixing their orchestra seats. Wick’s new drum is there, and he’s some proud of it. “Mr. Harper,” says Matilda, ‘‘have you ever heard ‘Spring, Lovely Spring’?”’ 4 “‘Not since last April,” says I: “We are going to render it tonight,” says she. “Wee” “Me and Mrs. Smith. She has a lovely alto.” I goes over and talks to Ricky. WE WENT up to Mint Hall. Mrs. “Ricky, you knows something about music—what is alto?” . pans thinks deep for a while, and then he says “The, ‘did yuh ever let out a whoop, and then hear the same whoop come back to yuh? That’s it?” “T thought that was a echo.” “Yeah, sure; but that’s only when yuh hear one reply. Sabe? When yuh hears two replies—that’s alto. It’s a Hungarian word, which means two.” “‘What does it mean when you hears more than two?” j “That’s basso profundo, Ike.” “T thinks Maud S is paralyzed,” com- plains Wick. “She don’t seem to have no use of her legs.” “For this we offer much thanks,” says Dirty. “But she’s got to get up and go with yuh,” says Wick. “You can’t leave her layin’ there on the stage.” “She'll get up,” declares Dirty. “I know a lot about mules. Lemme alone and don’t worry about Maud S.”’ “There ain’t much use of rehearsin’,”’ squeaks. Scenery; “I’m the main thing up —— = comicbooks Pa . Sor Oe i 2 ae ..2-nn <i