Adventure, February 20, 1922 — page 84: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

p -. 82 : “‘Well, now that it’s all settled I feel bet- ter, Ike. You corral Dirty and Half Mile and bring ’em over to the Mint Hall to- night, and you'll find out what you’ve got - to do.”’ “Magpie Simpkins, for.gosh sake——” “Tke, I’d tell yuh if I knowed, but I don’t. Old Testament knows just what you’ve got _to do, so be patient.” I finds Dirty Shirt in Buck’s place, and _ he’s-inoculated against rattlesnakes. Dirty is bow-legged and cock-eyed, and wouldn’t be no beauty if he wasn’t. I tells him what -has come to pass, and he listens close-like. Then he steps inside, yanks out his six-gun, and rings the little bell on top of the Mint Hall three times in a row. Then he puts _ his gun back and cocks his eye at me. “T ain’t drunk, that’s a cinch. .Mebbe my hearin’ is weak, Ike. Say that all over again, will yuh?” _Texplains once more. Dirty nods foolish- like. “Sounded the same both times, Ike. What does a wise man have to do?”’ “T don’t know, Dirty. We'll find Half Mile and then they'll explain it to us.’ “‘Half Mile’s in jail. He shot three times at ‘Scenery’ Sims, and Scenery put him i in _ jail for it. Here comes Scenery now.’ THERE ain’t no description to fit Scenery, except that he’s about five feet tall and his voice squeaks and Se \_, Fa . his mustache only grows at the corners of his big mouth, like the whiskers on a bob- cat. He continues to be our sheriff, be- cause nobody has took the time to kill him, except some poor shot, like Half | Mile. We explains the proposition to Scenery, and asks him will he let Half Mile be a wise Ak DS eer ae PAREN Dantrg hae 7 ‘are . ‘ ta - man. “How about me?” asks Scenery. “Half Mile ain’t got no sense. I studied ellie-cu- - shun oncet, and I’ve got a lot of natural sense about things like that. is “We don’t give a ’ says Dirty Shirt, “only we wants to die in good company, Scenery.” “‘Bein’ the sheriff I’ll see that they don’t get rough.” “Since when has a sheriff been able to intimidate these Yaller Rock snake hun- ters?” Tasks. ‘The sight of you up there, Scenery,.would be like wavin’ a red rag at a bull.” Adventure “Nawsir,” squeaks Scenery. “And be- sides they ain’t goin’ to be allowed to bring in no guns, so the judge tells me.” You can’t argue with no tin whistle like that, so we takes him with us to our cabin, where we finds Magpie, Old Testament and the judge. We explains that Half Mile is in jail and that Scenery is desirous to be wise. Magpie says: “That’s all right, if he keeps his mouth shut, but we don’t want no wise man witha squeaky voice. We'll let Ike speak all the words what is spoke.” “T can talk,” says Dirty Shirt, “and I’ve studied ellie-cushun. Ic can make gestures, y betcha.” ‘We ain’t usin’ none in this ta-blew, Dirty,” states the judge. “She’s to be pulled off almost in the dark, bein’ as she’s a night pitcher, and gestures ain’t goin’ to do nothin’ but mebbe ruin the thing. You hang onto your gestures and let nature take her course.”’ “Talk ain’t much without yuh gestures,” complains Dirty. “Your talk wouldn’t be much with ’em!” snaps Magpie. “Shut up.” “Tf you knowed anythin’ about ellie-cu- shun, you’d——”’ “Tf you’re goin’ to be a wise man, Scenery,” says Magpie, soft-like, “‘you’ll practise up right now by keepin’ your mouth shut. Sabe? Go ahead and gesture if yuh want to, but keep still.” “Well, if I can’t talk, I won’t, but jist the same——”’ “Stop!” howls Magpie. “Scenery, if you don’t shut up you'll never live to run for office again.” “T ain’t goin’ to run again,” says Scenery. “T wouldn’t have the job again.” “Judge,” says Magpie, ‘‘we’ll let a certain few bring their guns inside the hall. Now, let’s get down to business. Is Pete Gonyer makin’ the star?” “Moon. He had a round piece of glass, but he says there ain’t no danged way he can cut a star. Moon will do as well, won’t it?” - “Tf we can’t get a star; but the Bible says they followed a star.” “Yaller Rock county won’t never know that,” says Dirty. ‘“‘Not if yuh don’t tell ’em.”’ “‘We’re having the stage built twice as big, and then we’ll put dirt over the boards so it will look like a desert. We'll have a “S (o com ie) oKofe)