Adventure, February 20, 1922 — page 82: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

=< HE’S the beautifulest story ever = wrote. I tell yuh she’s a dinger, | and I’m a heap in favor of showin’ fe it to the multitude, ad lb, also : visibly.” “Magpie” Simpkins shifts his feet on the _ table and leans back in his chair, acting like he’s said something real smart. “The best ever told,’”’ admits “Old Testa- ment” Tilton. “I longs to see it portrayed piously and with feelin’ aforethought.”’ “But can she be done?” asks Wick Smith. “The time is short.” “Piperock can do anything she sets out to do,” states Magpie. “‘And everything else that could possibly happen between the time she starts and the time she finishes,” says I. “T figured it was about time for you to say something, Ike,” opines Magpie. Me and “Dirty Shirt” Jones wasn’t in- vited to this conference, but we’re there any- way. Buck Masterson, Wick Smith, Judge Steele, Old Testament and Magpie are the | committee. Dirty said there’d likely be need of substitutes before the meeting had gone far, so we took it upon ourselves to attend. *“‘Three wise men won’t be hard to find,” opines Buck. “‘Town’s full of ’em,”’ says Dirty. stop at three?” : ‘““You’ve spoke your piece, Dirty,”’ states the judge. “We've got to have a star, ain’t we?” asks Buck. “Why 80 _ Wise Men \and a Mule by W.C. TUTTLE Author of “Tippecanoe and Cougars Two,” “Powder Law,’’ etc. “Yeah, we sure have,” admits Wick. “Beyond the shadder of a doubt in my mind,” says the judge. ‘The star must be there, sheddin’ it’s effulgent rays across the desert, lightin’ up the—uh—place, as it were. It’s goin’ to be hard to get a suitable camule or camules.” “Camule?”’ asks Buck. backed quadruples?” “Camel,” corrects Magpie. “Yeah, we’ve got to have one. We’ve got to have a lot of presents and——”’ “‘Who’s going to be Sandy Claws?” asks Dirty. “Nobody!” snaps Magpie. “Them things are out of date. We’re just steppin’ along ahead of them ancient has-beens, yuh betcha. Nobody can go home from this - celebration and say we had the same old stuff.” “Be lucky if they has the use of their vocal cords ten days afterwards,” opines Dirty. “Piperock’s Merry Christ- mas has always knocked —— out of Happy New Year’s. I suppose you'll frame up a death trap and charge us a dollar apiece to get butchered for a Piperock Holiday.” “This is goin’ to be free,” states Magpie. “Just like a suicide,”’ sighs Dirty. “Since when was you and Ike H invited to this meetin’?” asks Wick. “ ‘Pears to me——” “We're going out,” says I, “but before we erases ourselves from your presence we’d like to orate open and free that we will not be part, parcel nor accessory to anything “Them hump- = i €boo te 3 ar m KS.€OM SSE GoM r