Adventure Magazine Cover — page 87: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Too Much Progress for Piperock two guns per each. Tonight means trouble ‘in that town, y’betcha.”’ “Tonight? Why tonight, Mighty?” “Social affair tonight, that’s why. Two dollars per ticket, and not a gun allowed into the hall. I’ve got a ticket, which [ll sell yuh.” ‘Goin’ to save my money for ca’tridges,”’ grunts Dirty, and we pilgrims on. We went right down the street of Pipe- rock, looking neither to the right nor left, and heads straight for Magpie’s cabin. Looking into the open door we sees Magpie bending over the cook-stove, frying meat. ‘““Klahowya,” says Dirty. Magpie drops the pan on the floor and whirls with a gun in each hand. “Dancing makes you jumpy?” I asks. Magpie shoves his guns back inside the waistband of his pants, kicks the hunk of meat into the skillet and turns back to the stove. ‘“‘How’s Miss Harrison?” I asks. Magpie turns and squints at me. *‘She’s gone, Ike.” “‘De-mised?”’ “De-parted.” “Kinda busts up the show, don’t it, Magpie?” “Like it does!” “How comes she to de-part thataway?” asks Dirty. Magpie flops the meat and sets it on the back of the stove. Then he sets down on a bunk and combs his mustache. “YOU ain’t heard, have yuh, Ike? No. Well, here’s the how of it all. You left hereabout the time that ae all the married womin are faunchin’ around, organizin’ a vigilance commi'‘tee to hang their own husbands, didn’t yuh? Well, Wick and Pete and Old Testament and Art Wheeler and Judge Steele decides that Piperock and posterity needs ’em more than jealous wives do, so they up and orates that for th’ interests of the furtherance of Pipe- rock they’re goin’ to stick to their original idea of learning the latest thing in dances. “Them womin combines against such proceedings, and locks their doors against said husbands, with the result that we puts up bunks in the Mint Hall for all them errant husbands. Miss Harrison hangs on to her room at the hotel and Mrs. Holt enlists with the belligerent wives and hives up at Judge Steele’s, SI “Inside of three days them husbands are plumb anxious to go to their wives, but wifie has nailed the front door shut. Them there dancin’-lessons has improved us won- derful, Ike. I gets old Sam Holt to dance in your place. “Then we finds out somethin’. “Judge Steele goes sneakin’ around home late at night after our lessons, and he peeks under the curtains in his house, and he sees Miss Harrison teachin’ them womin to dance, and the judge swears that they ain’t got enough clothes on to flag a hand-car. “The judge so forgets himself that he raps on the window, and he gets a lot of bird-shot sprayed into the seat of his pants. ‘‘Miss Harrison has double-crossed us, and the next night we chides her about it. She gets kinda woolly and informs us that the ladies invited her to teach them so they could do their part in the performance. She was teachin’ ’em the ‘Dance of the Rain- drops.’ cé ‘My no raindrop.’ ““T ain’t goin’ to permit Mrs. Tilton to appear in no mosquito nettin’ and bare feet—not in public,’ declares Testament. “Things got kinda deadlocked, Ike. The tickets are all sold for the performance, and the church realizes over two hundred dollars. Me and the judge goes as a committee to confer with Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Tilton, and they refuses to arbitrate. They opines that what’s good enough for their husbands is good enough for them. Mrs. Tilton says: ? grunts Wick. ‘My wife ain’t “Tf Testament can wear a gee-string and © imitate a willer-tree, why can’t I wear a porous-knit undershirt and imitate a drop of rain?’ 3 “What could we do? We went back and held a council of war. Pete said he’d be if his wife was goin’ to be a spec- tacle. They all declared that they wasn’t goin’ to let the world at large gaze upon their property in the rough. Miss Harrison de- clares that it must go through. There yuh are, Ike. “Miss Harrison was taken to Paradise. this morning and was put aboard the train. Art Wheeler drove the stage, and Pete Gonyer, Judge Steele and Testament Tilton acted as shotgun guards. Our premier dancer has went.” “Which busts up the show, eh?” says Dirty. “Not while Magpie Simpkins roams the COMICLOOokKs (C@