Adventure Magazine Cover — page 85: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Too Much Progress for Piperock Piperock would become the greatest place 3 on earth, and he said she had a good start right now. This here female opines that we're fifty years behind the times. She asks. him why folks don’t wake up around here. The judge says they’re just waitin’ for the right person to come along and set the alarm. She says she’s the greatest dancer in the world. “She wants to show off, but the judge says that all Piperock ain’t as intelligent as he. is and mebbe they’d not see things. in the right light. “Then Testament Tilton comes in. The judge introduces them two, and explains about her bein’ the greatest dancer on earth. Testament Tilton says he’s originally from Missouri. Then he laughed like a danged hy-e-ner. I don’t like to say that about a preacher, but——”’ “Speak your mind, sister,” says Mrs. Tilton. “T like your description.” “Well,” continues Mrs. Holt, “I had to go away for a few minutes, but when I got -my eye to the crack of that door again I hears the judge sayin’— “*Testament, I reckon the rest of the country will kinda set up when we lets ’em know that Piperock is going to exhibit the greatest dancer in the whole danged world, eh?’ . “Then Testament says: “ “Brother Steele, you’ve said a lot in them few lines. Your idea of givin’ this under the auspices of my church is goin’ to make a hit with the womin folks. That takes the curse off.’ “Just then this here female shows up— barefooted.” Mrs. Holt stops for breath. “Can she dance?” asks Mrs. Smith, wheezin’ quite a lot. “Well—” Mrs. Holt looks around at ts, and. swallers real hard—‘‘well—Mrs. Smith, I reckon we better go over to your house to tell the rest of it.” They went across the street hke they was afraid they’d get wet. “T’ll never eat another meal in Sam Holt’s place again,” declares Muley. ‘‘I’ll get even with her by boycottin’ her hus- band.” “I’m goin’ home,” says I. “The peace and quiet of Piperock is about null and void, and I need solitary communion with my pet hunch. Somethin’ tells me that all is not well. In fact somethin’ tells me that 9) 79 all is not only not well, but in danged delicate health.” Nobody can read Piperock’s mind, but I’ve seen disaster come and go, and my personal prognostications are about on a par with a weather man prophesyin’ fair and warm in Death Valley. aes| VM COOKIN’ supper when Mag- 4a | pie shows up, and the blasted idiot GH is grinning from ear to ear. He pours coffee over his potatoes. and puts sugar on his bacon and then begins to talk. “The rhythm,” says he, “‘the rhythm of nature is a wonderful thing, Ike.” “Yes,” says I. “It noust. be.’”” » “The breeze of Spring; the waving of the branches. of a tree. True poetry, Ike. The human form divine is the only thing capable of expressin’ these here e-motions.”’ I takes. out my gun and puts it beside my plate. “Magpie, there’s a curse on you, and you might as well spill it all now. Ym not interested a danged bit, but any old time you starts out bobbin’ from flower to flower I knows what’s comin’. Spread your hand.” Magpie smiles at me and then shoves back from the table. “Ike, here’s where we jump fifty years ahead of Paradise and Curlew. We has hung to the old order_of things too long. We has become moth-eaten and stale. Don’t yuh know we have?”’’ “Anything would—hung up for fifty years, Magpie.” “We. still dance quadrilles. and waltzes, the same of which went out of style with flint-lock muskets. Now, we sheds the scales off our eyes and comes out of our shells mto the dawn of a brighter day. Piperock entereth a reign of classical danc- ing, Ike. “Miss Harrison is goin’ to elevate us, but we have to give her our able assistance. There seems to be a female sentiment against her here; but that’s plumb natural, bein’ as we’re in a rut and don’t know no better. Judge Steele and Testament Tilton has seen her dance. Them two are real progressive, Ike, and they sees the pos- sibilities. “Testament Tilton says it’s got any- thin’ beat he ever seen, and he’s. had his eyes open for sixty-six years. Miss Harrison says she’ll teach Piperock the rhythm of GomiGcbdooks (C@