Adventure Magazine Cover — page 80: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

74 “Henpecked, ——!” says Pete. ‘‘Orstrich —if there ain’t nothin’ bigger what wears feathers.”’ Mrs. Steele, the wife of our legal light, is six feet two inches tall, and she’s always oratin’ about the sanctity of the home, whatever that is. One cinch, the prize never hands down any decisions in his own home. Mrs. Sam Holt goes through life worrying about somebody alienating the affections of old Sam, who can barely hear himself yell, and has to eat his spuds mashed or miss the taste of ’em. agra s the Mudgett sisters, who must * been the originals of the first cartoon of “Miss Democracy.” Cupid would have to use a .30-30 if he went to work for them. Scattered around the range is a occasional female, but nothing that you’d bet your money on in a beauty contest. Annie Schmidt is cooking for the Triangle outfit, but the same don’t seem to cause any of the other ranches to go short of help. HENRIETTA HARRISON horns into Piperock. Piperock takes a 4 deep breath. Bad news travels fast, and it ain’t long before there’s a need of another hitch-rack in Piperock. Sam Holt runs the hotel—or thought he did; but Ma Holt got one look at Henrietta and shut up the book. “Every room is taken,” says she. “Who by, Ma?” asks old Sam. “Mel” “Ma’am,” says Magpie, “I reckon mebbe Mrs. Smith will take a boarder.” Wick said she would. Wick locked up his store and took the valise in one hand and Henrietta’s elbow in the other,. kinda rubbing Magpie and me out. We sat down on the sidewalk intending to speak un- kindly to Wick when he came back, but Henrietta came back with him. Wick sets the valise down on the sidewalk. “Ma said she was goin’ to have company, and won’t have no room.” “This Summer?” asks Magpie. “T ain’t no hand to argue,” says Wick. Pete Gonyer comes over, and Magpie asks Pete about taking a boarder. “Y’betcha,” says Pete. ‘“‘Pleasure’s all mine. Mrs. Gonyer’d be plumb tickled stiff. Live all your life with us, ma’am.” Pete almost stands on his head, bowing and scraping like a ground-owl; but just Adventure then Mrs. Gonyer comes down the side- walk, but Pete don’t see her. “Pete!” she snaps. “My !” gasps Pete. broke!” Mrs. Gonyer looks at Henrietta and then at Pete. “T run out of horseshoes,” says Pete. had to come to the store——” Pete goes on into the store and Mrs. Gonyer follows him inside. “T must find a place to board,” says Henrietta, kinda sad-like. ‘Eatin’ part’s easy,” says I; “but it be- gins to kinda look like yuh might have to hive up under that greenwood tree.”’ “T’ll take-her in before I’ll let her sleep under a tree,’”’ says Magpie. “You'll take her in?” says I. mean, we'll take her in, don’t yuh? of that cabin is mine.” “Tt was my idea, Ike.” Just then Testament Tilton and his wile drives into town. Testament is a sancti- monious-looking old pelican. He looks at Henrietta, and his lips move, but I know they don’ t move in prayer. “Miss Harrison needs a place to stay,” explains Magpie. ‘Have you folks got any extra room?P”’ “Brother Magpie, we have,” ment. ‘‘We have.” “Where?” asks Mrs. Tilton. Testament turns and looks at her kinda queer-like for a moment and then back at us. “That’s the question,” says Testament. “T thought we had room, but where is it?” “Well, get out of the wagon,” says Mrs. Tilton, nudging Testament. ‘‘Me and you have got to do shoppin’.”’ “T think it is an insult,” says Henrietta. “Dye half a notion to leave.” “lve gota good notion to leave with yuh,” says Magpie. “Let’s make it a trio,” “The rope cy “Vou Half says Testa- says I. “What are you insulted about?” asks © Magpie. “T ain’t so danged particular that I’d mention any one little thing.” “T came here to recuperate,” sighs Hen- rietta. ‘I escaped from every one and went to one country where they would never expect to find me, and I am not welcome, - it seems. I thought I might find a new theme in the wild dances of aboriginal tribes. That sort of thing is new and origi- nal, I think.” COnmicloool< (C@