Adventure Magazine Cover — page 147: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Innocent Bystander and the Triangle to me as if there was a million dollar prize on my coconut!’ ‘““ “Well, well,’ I said, trying to console him. ‘When did you start drinking, Joe?’ ‘“<T)rink? he yelled. ‘I never took a drink in my life, but now I wish I was soaking in a whisky barrel or happy with D. T.! “Well, well,’ I said. ‘Don’t get excited. You should worry if a young lady goes and loses her head over you. You ought to feel flattered, Joe.’ ‘Bah! said Joe in a gone sort of way, threw up his arms and ran away howling hike a dervish. “That didn’t end it of course. It couldn’t. Old Brinkman was a stubborn old guy and I felt I had to push the thing along. In order io protect my own interests, you under- stand. “That very day the old boy trundled his embonpoint up the companion. My watch, mind you, the first dog watch. He looked worried but not discouraged. Oh, no. ‘“‘ ‘Well, Mr. Carey,’ said he, breaking his own rule against talking on the bridge. It was tacked up, the rule I mean, on the pilot- house wall. Coming or going, you couldn’t help seeing it. ‘Well, Mr. Carey,’ said he, “it doesn’t seem to go very well.’ ‘What doesn’t seem to go very well, sir?’ said I. ‘¢¢___ fire!’ said he. ‘Haven’t you got any brains, you tobacco-spouting little shrimp! You have gone and made a pigsty out of my deck again! What? What! Indeed!’ That cooled him off as I knew it would. His boiling point was remarkably low. ‘““‘T refer to the matter between my daughter and Mr. Davis, sir,’ said he. ‘“‘‘Of course,’ I said. ‘I ought to have known. To be sure, sir.’ ‘“* “Fife doesn’t seem to take very kindly to the—er—treatment you suggested, Mr. Carey,’ said he. ‘My daughter says he doesn’t seem to like it at all.’ “ ‘Certainly, sir. I mean that can easily be explained, sir,’ said I. ‘Joe isn’t used to it. He never had a girl. He told me so himself.’ And he had. I was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. ‘He is shy, sir,’ said I. “‘ ‘Maybe that is it,’ said he. ‘Probably that is it. You show remarkable intelligence at times, Mr. Carey.’ “ ‘Not at all, sir,’ said I. ‘Iam just saying what he told me himself.’ 137 “ ‘Well,’ said old Brinkman, ‘the ques- tion is, I suppose, what may be done.’ “T thought hard. I had to make good. To protect my own interests, you under- stand. “Supposing he took sick,’ I said. An idea had hit me squarely on the bean. ** “Tt would be a calamity,’ said old Brink- man. ‘We should be short-handed. He has to stay well whether he wants to or not.’ “¢ She could nurse him,’ I said, ‘and he’d have to get over his shyness. And besides, all patients marry their nurses; that is, all men patients do.’ ‘ “Good idea,’ said old Brinkman. ‘Capi- talidea. But he isn’t likely to be took sick. His grandfather lived to be ninety and was never sick. And he might have lived longer if a train hadn’t killed him.’ “We can’t trust to luck, of course, sir,’ said J. ‘That would be suicidal. We’ll have to see to it ourselves.’ ‘We?’ said old Brinkman. ‘How?’ hesaid. ““Well,’ I said, trying to break it gently, ‘when I was a kid I once swallowed a chew of tobacco.’ ““*T had an idea you started early, Mr. Carey,’ said old Brinkman. ‘And I never felt so sick in my life as I did then, sir.’ “*That was too bad, indeed,’ said old Brinkman. ““T was thinking,’ I said, ‘that since Joe Davis doesn’t use tobacco it may have the same effect on him.’ “Good idea, capital idea,’ said the old fool. ‘But it might be difficult to persuade him to swallow a chew.’ “Leave that to me, sir,’ I said. attend to that.’ , “*Thanks, Mr. Carey,’ said he. ‘You are a dandy sailor and it is too bad you aren’t a fine man. But maybe you might improve.’ ““*T don’t think so, sir,’ said I. ‘I ama hopeless case. But I always like to see other people happy, sir,’ said I. euce “IT WASN’T so hard. I spoiled half Biuai 2 pound of good chewing tobacco and bribed the messroom steward. Joe wasn’t popularso it didn’t set me back much. Joe had the morning watch the next day, from four o’clock to eight. We used to have coffee on the bridge at five. Weather was pretty chilly, you see, and you’d gulp down anything that was hot. Joe did. Vil GOMIGOOO S (© inn