Adventure Magazine Cover, August 18, 1921 — page 105: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Electric Horse help of gin-rikkies and shooting-irons and decided that nothing was so likely to put Pine Forks on the map as a country fair and a race meeting. “They sat up all night for a week mak- ing out their publicity literachoor, had it printed by the ton and swamped the whole United States with it. In Pine Forks County all were busy preparing to give a right hearty Western welcome to our East- ern brothers. The bunco-steerers were weighing their roulette-wheels and marking their cards; the missionaries were out hir- ing thin Indians to beg for. The oil-bore and mine-owners were dolling up their claims with imported juice and ore. All the range boys was given six-shooters and shown which end the bullet came out. A Los Angeles movie-queen came down and taught all the ranch women to act like gen- u-ine “cow-girls.”’ Believe me, fellers, when Pine Forks County starts to do anything— or anybody—it does it proper.” “We believe you,” said Long John; “given that vou’re an average sample citizen of this ’yer Sandy-jeweller City we'll be- lieve any blame thing you like to tell us about it.” 4:20 LHE stranger solemnly raised his hat. “God bless vou for them kind werds, pardner. It ain’t often one meets such trustful natures as yourn.”’ He sighed deeply. “I only wish I had run across you ten years ago when I was peddling gold- bricks, Brazilian diamonds and oil-claims down in dear old Sanguijuela; you’d ha’ been the makings 0’ me. Well, to contin- uate—the great day arrived and so did the folk; they came herdin’ into town by train, aughtv-mobyle, buggy, horse, foot and wheelbarrer. They came from all over the States includin’ Alaska and not forgettin’ Utah. “Pine Forks County was there to a man, even down to Uncle José Glorioso Garafion who had been bed-ridden for twenty years but came along in an ox-wagon, bed and all. “Old Obediah E. T. Jones was also pres- ent, dolled up in his pussy-cap and Summer suit o’ dungarees and riding old Marigold who was cuttin’ curves through the mes- quite, like a haughty buck-rabbit, on her new gum-shoes. “It was sure a sump’chous occasion. The saloons was balin’ out the snake-juice by 99 the bucket and takin’ in the money in coal- shovels. The rubes was donatin’ their hard- earned stakes to the tin-horn gamblers as fast as they could loosen ’em from their wads; the missionaries had garnered more subscriptions into the fold than they needed to retire on, and the mine-owners had sold their claims for ready money ten times over. ‘“‘The soda-fountains was founting con- tinuous; the bowlin’ alleys was rumblin’ like thunder and the shootin’-galleries was shot fuller of holes’n a roll of chicken wire. "Long ’bout noon folks reckoned it pro- pitious to let loose the horse-racin’, so all hands adjourned to the course, which was one of them circular, round affairs. The committee had put up a good lump of stake money and all kinds of professional speed- ponies and jockey-boys had assembled to cut it up. ‘Just as the first race was startin’ the sky goes as black as Jack Johnson and along ambles one of them ’yer hum-dinging, ding- busted, all-fired sons of guns of storms I done related to you concernin’. Gee it was some daisy! It whooped and banged and cracked and ripped like as if all the dead gunmen was riding the clouds and shootin’ the place up. The starter saw the rain comin’ and let the horses off so’s he could duck in out of it, and away they went, lick- ety-split, with all ’s fireworks blazin’ behind ’em. ‘Crash! went the thunder. Fizzle! went the lightning, and a stroke of it dived into the crowd and caught old Marigold slap be- tween the ears. She ra-ared up once and let a screech like as if she was split in half; then she off down the course in leaps like an Austrian canned-garoo. Obed flat on her back, pullin’ leather with hands, teeth and toe-nails. “Pull he might, pull his darndest, but there weren’t no stoppin’ her—no siree! She caught the last race-horse, caught and passed it quicker’n scat. She caught the bunch of ’em and was through, knockin’ em left, right and endways. She caught the leadin’ horse and passed it ’sif it were gallopin’ backwards. “On she went, round and round ihe course, cracklin’ like a flag in a gale, fizzlin’ like a hot kettle; blue sparks streakin’ from her mane and tail. She went so fast the wind tore the fur cap off Obed’s head, it tore his hair off and his whiskers and his Conn Gbooks CO