Adventure Magazine Cover — page 109: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee Helped by a Deschamps, the jew’s-harp virtuoso, are grouped in front of the platform with their discord utensils, and behind them sets “Telescope” Tolliver, ‘‘Muley”’ Bowles, ‘““Chuck”’ Warner and es | Henry Peck, the Cross J quartet. Tied to a bench at the rear of the room is one of Mighty Jones’ goats. Me and Dirty takes seats as far _. as possible from that goat, ’cause we know it’s | a cross between a pile-driver and a grizzly bear. a J ox Just then the door of the anteroom opens and ~__. Doc Milliken comes out with his sleeves rolled ep SEES up. Magpie stands up, cocks both barrels of his -_ annihilator and says: ia Pee ~ “Feller Lizards to be—maybe. As Lhas said 2 to you before, your application is null and void until vou has passed medically. . Our hired _--———s representative’ erred when he said that all we required was your names, and I wishes to com- = pliment you on your sensibilities on quitting your private feuds until same was settled. ey ta “The eminent doctor is prepared to make -—~—s mi-nute investigations of your nervous systems ____ and report in detail to us. He may or not pass you as being whole.” = “T rises to ask a question,” says Buck. ‘“‘As soon as he notifies us that a victim has passed, _ ~* “This ain’t no den of murderers,” squeaks - Scenery. “You'll get an even break, Buck.” Magpie, Scenery and Doc whispers a while, _ and then Magpie gets up. “Gents, we’re going to give everybody a _--__—-—s- square deal. The candidates will be examined _—-_as their names are called. After everybody is examined, Doc Milliken will hand me a, written e list of them what has passed. I will nail the list to the wall, that ye may all read your fate. Testament Tilton is the first lucky man.” That bunch of belligerents sets there and waits for him to come out. Magpie wraps two fingers around the triggers and studies each one intently. “Might sing a little song,” offers Muley. “J wrote one for the occasion. What do you think?” “Take a chance,” squeaks Scenery. “TI love music.” “T moves that they stand up to sing,” says Half-Mile. “I don’t want to make any mis- take when I starts shooting.” They stood up and sang one verse. It went like this! “We-e-c love our little Le-e-e-e-jun Like a Siwash loves his li-i-i-i-cker. Will we all hang to-o-o-0-0-gether? _ We'll rise and fall to-o-o-o-0-0-gether N-o-0-0 matter what comes u-u-u-u-up, We'll stick right to our Le-e-e-e-e-jun Like ticks upon a pu-u-u-u-u-u-u-p.” Horse Doctor Old Testament comes walking out and sets down. 3 “You old psalm-singer!” hisses Buck. ‘“T wish I knowed.” . “Buck Masterson isnext,” announces Magpie. “Thank gosh!” grunts Buck. “I won’t have to hear no more of that song.” “Shall we keep on singing?” asks Muley. “Not to amuse me,” says Magpie. “I reckon that song is musically inclined, but I don’t like to hear four grown men hold their breath like that. Maybe you better rest a while. Maybe the orchestra would like to play.” “Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast,”’ says Bill Thatcher, rosining his old bow. “Not your music,” says Half-Mile. “It makes me mad. I hate out of Sweet Marie, especially when she’s played by main strength. You’d seem a heap like Ole Bull to a deaf man whose eyesight was failing.” Buck came out and Ornery Olsen went in. Pretty soon Dirty Shirt stands up and says— “Magpie, does them fellers have to pay Doc » for his opinion?”’ “Nope. They pay the five dollars and get examined free.” . “T need looking over,” opines Dirty, “so you can fill me out one of them application things.” Magpie fixes him up and he was the last one ‘to go inside. The rest of them just sets there and glares at each other. Magpie comes down and has a little talk with the quartet and then they gets up and starts out. “Why for does.the canaries leave?’ asks Half-Mile, and Muley says: “This here bunch of golden-voiced warblers are’ going to leave before the list is posted. oo We came to praise Czesar—not to bury Im.” Then Dirty came out and sat down beside me. Magpie and Scenery cocks their guns and hooks their toes around the legs of their chairs. Doc Milliken tiptoes up to Magpie and hands him the list. Guns seem to appear from every. waistband, and I seen Ole Testament spit on his hands and pick up his fork-handle. As Magpie stands up I hears several guns click. “Gents,” says Magpie, “‘we’re going to give you all an even break. All of you get upand walk to the back of the room. Then you form a line, like you was going to run a race; sabe? I am going to tack this list against the wall up here, and when I give the word you can all walk—walk, not run—up to where you can read your fate. Me and Scenery are going to stand here, and the first man who hurries, shoves, trips or otherwise hampers his neighbor will spend eternity picking buckshot out of his earthly envelope. Now, line up—dang yuh, line up!” They followed directions to the letter while Magpie nails that fatal sheet to the wall. COMMICLOOOkKS \ . Rpt te Me WML OTE UEP Pe Omen, ISM Le Neier ae yam lt ee ee pm Toe UTS, © ce