Action For Men, May 1964 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

e®@eeeteegqeee@¢e eo @ @eeieoeéesbeeee ee A baseball player was in the middle of a terrible slump as a result of not getting enough rest because of his chronic inability to resist the charms of glamorous blondes. His manager finally told him to straighten up or go back to the minors so the player swore to reform, concluding: “T’m through with girls forever. Give me one more chance and I swear that I won't look at a girl until the end of the season.’ The following afternoon the player __ was walking down the street with a luscious lady he had known for all of 12 hours when he collided squarely with the manager of the team. The manager’s face clouded with anger and the hapless ballplayer swallowed hard and stammered: “Don’t jump to conclusions, I would like to intro- duce my wife.” SC al “Your wife!” roared the manager. “She’s my wife!” Two coeds were discussing their future. “I think [ll get a job as an airline stewardess,’ decided one. “That way. I know Tl be able to meet lots of men.’ “Not me,” said her friend. ‘There are loads of other jobs where you have the opportunity to meet just as_ many men.” “Maybe so,” answered the first with a distant smile. “But not strapped down!” oo0°o | The wife of a well-heeled business- man was leaving town on a vacation trip and called her husband’s office. AaN = “Can you show us something cheaper? All we want it for is getting past hotel desk clerks.” from the airport. “Tell Mr. Smith,” she instructed the new secretary, “that I forgot to plug in the alarm clock on his side of the bed.” = “Of course,’’ chirped the secretary, “and who should I say called?” . “Bring me a plate of hash,” said the customer. The waiter walked over to the kitchen elevator. “Gent wants to take a chance,” he called down the speak- ing tube. “T’ll have some hash, too,” second customer. | The waiter picked up the tube again. “Another sport,” he yelled. sald a At a social gathering, a family doctor told this story. “One night I was awakened at 2:30 in the morning by a telephone call from a patient whose family I hadn’t treated for quite some time. ‘Doctor,’ said the excited man, ‘please come over as quickly as you can. My wife is having severe pains and I’m con- vinced she has appendicitis.’ ‘Rousing myself from sleep, I had difficulty in recalling the medical his- tory of the man’s family and said, ‘It’s probably indigestion.’ ‘Oh, doctor, you’ve got to come. I’m sure it’s appendicitis.’ “Now look, Mr. James, I took your wife’s appendix out almost three years ago. You must know she can’t have another one. ‘“““T know, doc,’ said the husband, ‘but I have another wife. ” oo °O An advertising director flew to the coast to discuss a TV show with an actor. The actor apologized for the absence of his wife, explaining that she was upstairs caring for their five children. “What ages?” asked the director. “Five, four, three, two and one,” smiled the young actor. “Say,” commented the advertising- executive, “I hope I’m not keeping you!” feel aa) ce eyere) << com