Action for Men, May 1960 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A storekeeper was complaining to his friend about business. “Days can go by and a customer doesn’t come in,” he lamented. “The overhead is tremendous. I lose money every week.” “Why do you stay in business if it’s so bad?” asked the sympathetic friend. “A man has to make a living some- how.” The ROTC student in charge of the drill was marching his men around the field, rather uncertain of the proper commands. When he found himself and his men confronted by a huge fence, he didn’t know quite what terms to use to get them around —_— ZA (E Uh. it. He did some fast thinking and came up with, “Company dismissed for five minutes. Then fall in on the other side of the fence.” At the funeral of a well-known ef- ficiency expert, the spectators were amazed to see the coffin lid spring open and the efficiency expert sit up. He turned to one of the pallbearers and said, “If they put this thing on wheels, they could let four of you 9 go. oo 90 A businessman was in some trouble and went to see his lawyer about it. But to make sure he wasn’t wasting his money, he said to the lawyer, “T’ll “| can marry any man in the house !’’ tell you the facts and then if you feel there are grounds for legal action, I'll pay you.” The lawyer agreed and the busi- nessman went on to explain the facts of the case. After hearing him out, the lawyer said, “The case is absolutely airtight. Why, the other guy hasn’t a leg to stand on.” He continued, ‘“‘My fees will be $50, and if you wish, I’ll start proceedings the very first thing to- morrow.” “In that case, I don’t think I’ll pay you.” “Why not?” “Because I gave you the other guy’s side of the story.” The army cook had just whipped up orders of fried eggs for a mob of hungry soldiers. Wearied by his efforts, he sat down, yawned, lit a big fat cigar and wrote a letter to his sweetheart : “Darling,” he began, ‘‘for the past three hours shells have been bursting all around me.” The new office manager looked around and noticed that there were many typists in the office—too many, in fact, for the amount of work that had to be done. He asked one of the girls, “What is your usual complement ?” “Tt’s usually, ‘Hi, Sugar, you look beautiful today,’ ”’ she replied. At a canteen dance, an unhappy looking Private made this announce- ment: “Ladies and gentlemen, I have just lost my wallet containing one hundred dollars. To the person who finds it, I'll give ten dollars.” A voice piped up from the rear, “Tl give fifteen.” PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 connicoookKs