A. Merritt's Fantasy Magazine, December 1949 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By sitting at the foot of my bed. I strained __ toward it. I could not move. [ thought _ I heard it whisper, “Not yet .. . not yet oo ds > és “Progressive hallucination,” de Kera- _ del said. “From sight to hearing, from hearing to smell. And then the color cen- ters of the brain become involved. All _ this is obvious. Yes?” Bill paid no attention; continued, “He i __went to sleep, abruptly. He awakened _ next morning with a curious exaltation __ Of spirit and an equally curious determina- _ tion to evade me. He had but one desire that the day should end so that he could meet the shadow. I asked, sarcastically, “But how about the other girl, Dick?’ _ “He answered, plainly puzzled, ‘What other girl, Bill?’ x “I said, ‘That other girl you were so ie. bi much in love with. The one whose name you couldn’t tell me.’ “He said, wonderingly, ‘I don’t remem- _ ber any other girl,’ ” 3 I STOLE a swift glance at the Demoi- _ + selle. She was looking demurely down _ at her plate. But I thought the little or- _ chid sparks were dancing in her eyes. Dr. Lowell asked: _ “First, he could not tell you her name _ because of some compulsion? Second, he _ told you he remembered nothing of her?” _ Bill said: ‘““That’s what he told me, sir.” _ __I saw the color drain from Lowell’s face _ once more, and saw again a lightning _ swift glance pass between the Demoiselle __ and her father. De Keradel said: ___ “A previous hallucination negatived by _ a stronger one. x “Maybe. At any rate, he passed the 4 day in a mood of mingled expectancy and | dread. ‘As though,’ he told me, ‘I waited _ for the prelude of some exquisite event, and at the same time as though for the __ Opening of a door to a cell of the con- _ demned.’ But he was even more resolved not to see me, yet he could not be easy until he knew whether I had or had not _ found something that might account for his experiences. After he had talked to me he had gone out, not for golf as he had : eapeon, but to a place where I could im, 3 a eee CREEP, SHADOW! a a . —_ SSS & ~ “He went home to dinner. He thought that during dinner he detected fugitive flittings from side to side, furtive stirrings > of the shadow. He felt that his every movement was being watched. He had al-— most panic impulse to run out of the house—‘while there was still time,’ as he put it. Against that impulse was a stronger urge to stay, something that kept whispering of strange delights, unknown joys. He said—‘As though I had two souls, one filled with loathing and hatred for the shadow and crying out against slavery to it. And the other not caring— if only first it might taste of those joys it promised.’ = ““He went to the library— “And the shadow came as it had come. the night before. It came close to him, but not so close that he could touch it. The shadow began to sing, and he had no ~ ~ desire to touch it; no desire except to sit listening forever to that singing. He told me, ‘It was the shadow of song, as the singer was shadow of woman. It was as though it came through some unseen curtain . . . out of some other space. It was sweet as the fragrance. It was one with the fragrance, honey-sweet .. . and each shadowy note dripped evil.’ He said, ‘If there were words to the song, I did not know them, did not hear them. I. heard only the melody . . promising ...’ “T asked, ‘Promising what?’ “He said, ‘I don’t know . that no living man had ever known... that would be mine—if .. .’ “I asked, ‘If what?’ . promising ... “He answered, ‘I did not know ... not | then. But there was something I must do to attain them—but what it was I did not know ... not then.’ “Singing died and shadow and fragrance were gone. He waited a while, then went to his bedroom. The shadow did not re- appear, altogether he thought it there, watching him. He sank again into that quick, deep and dreamless sleep. He awakened with a numbness of mind, an unaccustomed lethargy. Fragments of the shadow’s song kept whispering through his mind. He said, ‘They seemed to make a web between reality and unreality. I had only one clear normal thought, and that was keen impatience to get the last of — “_ (ECO A Ayiel exoye) delights > a. KS5(e0o)