15 Western Short Stories — page 86: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

&6 “Tt’s his dyspepsia,” explains Bill Mabie. “Every time he eats horse radish—” He is interrupted by a sudden jolt- in’ of the car and a loud hissin’ of compressed air. Windy sticks his head out through the door and gives a gasp. “What’s wrong?” demands Bill Ma- bie. “Our car,’ McCarthy answers hoarsely. “The couplin’s busted, and we're coastin’ back towards Tank- town!” OR A WHILE it looks like the car - may get out of hand, jump the rails at the freight sidin’, and plow up Main Street right through the doors of the Moosehead! That, I think, will be con- venient for the passengers, but maybe not for the management of the Moose- head. Solly Weizenheimer has loaded many .a customer in his day, but he might have his hands full, loadin’ a box car! Anyway, it ain’t necessary. Bill Mabie boosts me up to the roof and I set the handbrake, bringin’ the car toa grindin’ stop only a few yards from the Tanktown station. As I climb down the little iron lad- der at the end of the car I notice Ma- bie and Dildock in a huddle. I can't hear what they are sayin’ but Mabie is pointin’ one way, and Dildock an- other. Dildock seems excited, and Ma- bie is apparently tryin’ to calm him down. “Well, gents,” Windy says, “what d’you say to a little refreshment at the Moosehead ?” I can tell that Droopy Dildock is gettin’ ready to say no, but Mabie kicks him in the shins and that shuts him up. We reach the Moosehead and McCarthy calls loudly for Solly to provide four lagers—with lhght por- tions of froth. Solly serves the beer, and with it, some information. “Don’t know where you fellas’ve been,” he begins eagerly, “but yuh sure missed some excitement. Cattle- man’s Bank got. held up—two gents wearin’ bandannas across their faces.” ~ Windy pricks up his ears. “Ol Squidge,” Solly goes on, “says he could reckernize one of ’em by the voice—kind of a whiney little cuss. Lucky for you, Gordon’s off lookin’ WESTERN SHORT STORIES for “em now. He was lookin’ for you and Piccolo afore it happened.” “Tell the marshal,’ McCarthy says airily, “that if he needs some advice on ropin’ outlaws, I’m his man.” “Yeah,” I says, “you’re his man all right—when he finds out yuh got his signature on false pretenses.” Droopy Dildock starts to say some- thin’, but Bill Mabie stops him by an- other kick in the shins. Windy lifts his stein and washes his tonsils. Bill Mabie and his hatchet- faced pardner have polished off their beers and now are wipin’ out the taste with a couple of ryes for chasers. Windy explains confidentially to Mabie: “The trouble with Grumpy Gordon is, he ain’t got no dee-duck- tive ability. Now I wouldn't be sur- prisexl] myself if them two robbers is layin’ low right here in town.” I notice that Droopy Dildock looks at Mabie quick, and I began wonder- in’— . The batwing doors swings inward, and Marshal Grumpy Gordon stomps in. The marshal’s bandy legs are planted about a yard apart, and a hog- leg almost as big as a cannon is bris- tlin’ in his right fist. : Bill Mabie spots the lawman almost at the same time I do, and for a min- ute it seems lke I see Mabie slip somethin’ in Windy’s pocket. Then I _ decide I’m mistaken, and forget about it. I suddenly have a lot of other things to occupy my mind. Trailed by his lanky deputy, Ollie Jensen, the marshal walks over to the bar and claps a horny hand on the shoulder of his rival for the marshal’s job. “McCarthy,” he announces in a loud voice, “you’re under arrest for fraud— gittin’ a signature under false pre- tenses!” He turns to me and growls: “You'll have to come too, Peters. You was with him when he done it.” “But—” begins Windy. “Ain’t no ‘buts’ about it this time,” snaps Grumpy Gordon. “Comin’ peace- able, or do I gotta charge yuh with resistin’ arrest, too?” “He'll come peaceable,” I promised him, “or take that sock on the jaw I should’a’ give him in the first place.” The marshal grunts, then says to his deputy: “Watch ’em a minute, Ollie.” He whirls around on Bill Malis ands (CO