The Young Briton: Sam Sawbones — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sept. 8, 1877. ANECDOTES, INCIDENTS, AND USEFUL INFORMATION. Contributions from subscribers are invited for this column. ———) 0 WHY are jokes like nuts? Because the dryer they are, the better they crack. Wuy musf your nose necessarily bo in the middie of yonr face? Becarse it isthe ecenter. “A PHILADELPHIA Man has worn the same pair of linen trousers forty-nine summers. They have. been in style seyen times, AN Irish member of the House of Commons once remarked: that a man could not be in two places-at once, barring he was a bird. “YxEs, I went my daughter to siudy rhetoric,”’ replied a fond mother; “for she can’t fry pan- cakes now without smoking the house all up.’’ A NEWSPAPER Coarsely calls the Chinese emi- grant a beat. Regarding him gs a vegetable, we should prefer to speak of him as a queuecomer. St, Joun’s BreaD.—The frnit of the carob tree was supposed to have been eaten by St. John in the Wilderness, whence it was named St. Jobn’s bread. St. JouN’s Wort.—The peasants of France and Germany gather,on St. Jobn’s Day, a species of the plant St. John’s Wort, and hang in their windows, as a charm against evil gpirits. | A GIRL Visited @ music-saop and asked for ‘¢ The Heart Boiled Down with Grease and Care,’’. and ‘* When I Swallowed Homemade Pies.” The clerk at once recognised what she desired. | A City lawyer was makinga high-flown spsech the other day, telling about angoi’s tear#, weep- | ing willows, and tombstones, when his honour sald, “\Confine yourself to the dog-fight,”’ A QUEEN CaLizD A Kinec.—The Hungarians formerly gave the name of King to their Queen Mary, to avoid the infamy which the laws of that country cast upon those who are governed by Women ; accordingly, she bore the title of King Mary, till her marriage with Sigismund, at which time ghe took the titie of Queon. run a locomotive the other day 01 the Air Line road, and when he picked bimself up, after being thrown twenty feet, and landing on his head, he said, “You don’t ketch dis yer chile doin’ dat agin. It’s a right smart wonder I didn’t tear deso britches clean off.” . Tus Froe Takina 17S Foop.—The friend to whom I am indebied for having fir:t called my attention to this amusing exhibition happened to be re-potting some green: house plants ; and meet- ing with a moderate-sized worm among the roots of one of them, he carelessly threw it aside, into a damp corner near the green-house. Almost immediately a frog issued from his lurking-place close by, ccmmenced his attack upon the worm, and soon despatched it. Another worm’ was thrown to him, which he treated in the same menner. Bat the amueing part of the business is to watch the manner in which the frog first notices his, prey ; and this I can compare to no- thing £0 aptly as to what, indeed, it very much resembles, a pointer-dog setting this game; he makes, in. short, a dead set at it, oftentimes, too (if the relative position of the two animals’ so require it), with a slight bend or inclination, more cr less, of ‘the fore pari of the- body to ore pide, just as we often fee a pointer turn suddenly when ‘the game is on Ove side of Him, and he has spproached very fear before he has perceived it, -After.a pause.of some _ seconds, or more, the frog-makes-a dart at the worm, endeavouring to seize it with his mouth, : In this attempt he frequently fails more than once, and generally waits for.a short interval, acting the pointer, as it wore, between each attack. Having succeeded at last in getting the worm intohis mouth, if it be a large one he is unable to swallow it immediately, and all at once ; and the portion of the worm which rem#ins un- swallowed, and extends out of. the mouth of its destroyer, of course wreaths about, and struggles with a fortuous notion.” With much {bat some- what grotesque) dexterity, the frog then employs his two fore feet, shoving atd bandying the worm, : first with one, and then with the other, in order. to keep it as mearly as may be in the centre of his'm¢uth; till the wholo'is swallowed. 9° " ” A YOUNG GENTLEMAN’S JOURNAL. A LITTLE girl was told to spell ferment, and give the meaning, witha sentence in which it Was used, The following wag literally her answer :— ‘Retapebt, » sich, dguipig mixes th loye to ferment in-the garden,’ AMERICAN TEACHER: ‘*Who was the first man! Head Scholar : “* Weshingtos ; he was the first in war, first in 90“ Leacher : _ ** No, tno: Adam was the first man’ Head Scholar: ‘‘Ob, tif you're talking of foreiguers, I »’ pose he was !’’ | Ee A TEACHER, questioning little boys about the graduation inthe séale of being, asked, “ What comes next to man?’’ whereupon a little shaver, who was evidently smarting under the sense of previous defeat, immediately distanced all com- petitors by promptly ehonting, “ His undershirt, ma’am !’’ asked the young manin attendance, “* Have you Happy Dreams’ ?”’ -was astonished when he there ¥s igls. do St but tat if might hi accom replied, ‘No, ms’am, I’m mostly troubled with the nightmare.”’ He didn’t kaow why she went ; out. 80 hurriedly, and slammed the shop door after her. ‘* My faith !”’ said a little Italian to his friend, being worth thirty thousand dollars—*“ my falth ? | I stonld Tike to make one grand speculation.” ‘And in what would yon spéculate, signore ? 2”. asked his companion, ‘ I should like to-buy that: young man for what others think him worth, and \gell him-for what he thinks himself worth; it would make me one grand fortune.” &c.—Among the Komans it was a custom to pull or pinch the ears of witnesse’, present at any transaction, that they might remember it when they were called to give in their testimony. Among the Athenians, it was a mark of nobi-: lity to haye the ears bored; and among the Hebrews and Romans this was a mark of ger- yitude, Butler tells us “that a witty knave bargained with a seller of lace, in London, for s0 to the other. to perform the covenant, for one of his ears was nailed to pillory at Bristol. Mandeville tells of a people somewhere, that used their ears for cushions. Anda servant of his (says Dr. Bal- wer) that could not conceal his Midas, told me latelyin private, that going to bed, he binds them to his crown, and they servé him fer quilted night-caps.” . THE WINGED LizARD.—The Pterodaciylus, or winged lizard, one of the most extraordiaary productions of the foasil world, is an avimal which forms the intermediate link, hitherto deemed to exist only in fable, between birds and reptiles. ‘This creature, previously known in two formations upon the continent, hasbeen recognised in the lias of Dorsetshire. We cannot resist the temptation to introduce this remarkable animal in the language of Professor Buckland :—* In size and general form, and in ‘the disporition ‘and chayacter of its wings, this fossil penus, according to Onyler, semewhat resembled our modern‘bats and vampyres, but had its.beak elon- gated like a bill ofa woodcock, atd armed with teeth, like the snout of a crocodile ; its’ vertebr 2x, ribs, pelvis, legs, and feet, resembled those of.a lizard ; its three anterior fingers terminated in Tene Hoeked Saws like’that’on’ the fore-finger of the bat; and over its body was a covering, neither composed of featherz, asin the bird, nor of hair, ‘as in'the bat,’ but of scaly armour,’ liko’ that of aniguana; inshort, a mioniteh resembling nothing that has ever been seen er heard of excepting the dragons of yomaned and “héraldry. Moreover, it was probably’ noctivagous' ‘and insectivorous, and in both these points resembled the bat; but differed from it, In baving ‘the most important bones in its body constructed after the manner of thoge of reptiles. With flocks of such like-creatures fying» in the air, and shoals of Bo less monstrous Ichthyosauri and Plesiosanri swarming ii the dcean, and pigantic crocddiles and. tortoises crawling on the shores, of the pri- meval lakes arid rivers—asir, sea, and land must A ae atl e aeetg a ae tke Deroy, our infant world banks of a lake nearly a mile broad, he tie | swimming. Putting BARS BY Way oF ReMeMBRANcH,. her that he believed sho had not quite enough 175. FLYING KITES IN THE WATER. CONCERNING the art of flying kites in the water one of Doctor Franklin’s anecdotes came to my mind. When a boy, he amused himself one day with flyiog a paper kite, and approschia A ‘the string to a stake, and the kite ascended to a considerable height above the water whilst he was Desirous of amuting himself with his kite, and. enjoying at the same fime the plea- sure of swimming, he returned and loosing from | the stake the string with the little stick which was fastened fo it, went agein into the water, whore he f, und that lying on his: back, and hold- ing the stick-in his hands, ‘he was drawn slong the surface of the water in a yery agreeable manner, Hoe then engaged another boy to carry ‘his clothes round the pond to a certain spot, jand began to cross the lake drawn nlong, by A youna lady who entered a music shop, and . AC asl his kite, which carrled him over without the fatigue. : ) This was narrated by the Doctor himself, and plished by ac fawimmer, butit itis true, as Stated, that Doctor Branklin could not swim, I pm inclined to believe thai his kite voyage wes {but a passing thought from hig fertile brain. as they walked along behind young Strat, who. assumed vast Consequence on the streagth of. AD TO ADVERTISEES. Tite Advis twenuy Wards ..: 9; 6 FOREIGN STAMPS, = 60 RARE FOREIGN STAMPS, 7D. 4 Including Servia, “Saxony, Old Cuba, ae, &p. 100 RABE for 1s,.7d., including Fin- land, Moldo-Wallachia, Greece, For full particulars, and an im- '“yaense variety of other packets, see ILLUSTRATED PROSPECTUS Id, Catalogue 3d. All Post-free, & 00., GOWER-STREET —-_ . ; James Thomson, 182, North-street, Glasgow. or 60 4d,,and 130 for 7d., post free. Celebrated “ Please All” packets, in praise of which, J.1.fas during the lact six years received hundreds of unsolicited letters. 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