The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 370: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNCONSCIOUS REVELATIONS 309 something in your manner, Christina, which at that time bade me hope — ”’ ‘“ No, my lord, no!’’ vehemently interrupted the young maiden, who had hitherto listened with the reader may con- ceive how much distress and anguish of mind to that long and passionately delivered speech, which was full of accusa- tions that her sense of maidenly propriety would not permit her to explain away. “Oh, but it was so, Christina!’’ exclaimed Meredith, terribly excited. ‘‘ But if not then, what of last night? Think you that when the first word of allusion to this mad- dening, despairing love of mine had fallen from my lips, think you, 1 ask, whether my speech would not have been checked if you, with that candour which I fancied you to possess, had at once told me that you loved another? Oh, Christina, it was not well of you. My God, how much have I suffered on your account, and to be rewarded thus! If you loved me not, it was your duty to proclaim that fact. To keep it back was to bid me hope. It was worse, — it was playing the part of a coquette. It was heartless, it was wrong.” Overwhelmed with these reproaches, half-believing them to be just so long as Meredith remained under his present im- pressions in respect to the circumstances of her being seen with Captain Stanley, half-resentful, on the other hand, at the bitter accusations thus hurled against her, yearning to explain everything, yet daring not to pronounce the words, ‘“T do not love another,’ for fear they should be taken as the avowal of “ I love you,” distressed and bewildered, wanting to say something, yet knowing not what to say, anxious to fly from the spot, yet transfixed there by the power of her feelings, Christina leaned against a tree for support, and the tears flowed thick and fast from her eyes. ‘Oh, now you weep,” exclaimed Meredith. ‘‘ Weep on, false-hearted girl! An hour ago every tear you are at present shedding would have fallen like a drop. of molten lead upon my heart, and I should have gone mad with grief. But now it does me good to see you weep, and to know that I have wrung those tears from your eyes. Ah, I envy not the man who will conduct you to the altar, deceiver that you are! Until within the hour that is passing I would have staked my soul on your candour, your truthfulness. My God, how I EOMINGIOOKS (CO)