The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 175: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

152 REYNOLDS’ WORKS up the search after having vainly prosecuted it for two or three days. ‘“My funds were by this time totally exhausted, and I scarcely knew what to do. I wrote to Kate Marshall, — but with great reluctance, — requesting a temporary loan from her, and the return of post brought me a bank-note for twenty pounds. Thus I was relieved of anxiety for the immediate means of subsistence, and resolving to lose no time, I endeavoured to procure another situation as a gov- erness. J answered advertisements in the newspapers, called at the residences of the parties advertising, but, being un- able to give any reference as to past character, experienced a cold refusal everywhere. ‘Then I inserted advertisements asking for such a situation, and frankly stating that, for reasons which I would explain orally, I was unable to offer testimonials, but these appeals elicited not a single response. Meanwhile weeks were slipping on, my money was diminish- ing, and I was oppressed by serious apprehensions for the future. Besides, I had contracted two debts that lay heavy enough upon my mind: one to the mayor’s wife in the Pyrenean village, the other to Kate Marshall; and though I was well aware that they would neither expect to be paid very promptly, and the latter not at all until I should be fully able, yet I did not like the idea of those debts. I thought of taking in work, but I never was a good hand with the needle. I however made application at different places for such work, with the resolution to do anything to earn an honest livelihood, but I experienced no success. In process of time my money disappeared. Then I lived by making away with my articles of clothing, till at length I was reduced to such a condition that I was penniless, with long arrears of rent owing to a hard-hearted landlady, and without a single thing left to raise money upon. “Tt was in the middle of winter that one bleak, horrible night, between nine and ten o’clock, I was turned out of my lodging. I had not a friend to whom I could go; I had not even a single acquaintance in London of whom I could ask the slightest favour. I wandered about all that wretched night. Be assured that I fell in the way of temptations by yielding to which I might at once have possessed gold. But no! sooner than abandon myself to that hideous alter- native, I was fully resolved to put an end to my existence. EORMICLNOO KS (Elo)