The Works of George W. M. Reynolds — page 300: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CONFESSION OF ROMANTIC LOVE 283 f in our lives which dates more than twenty years back.’ I understood her meaning, and a great change was suddenly worked within me. Instead of the restlessness of a dis- appointed passion, I felt as if I had drunk of the holiest balm of Christian resignation. An anodyne had been all in a moment administered to a heart the wound of which for long years had remained open. friendship! — to possess the friendship of the princess would now be more than a recompense for all that I had endured; it would make me happy. She appeared to be animated with exactly the same feelings, and treating me in the light of a friend, she inquired what I was doing, how I was engaged, what were my pur- suits, and then delicately touched upon my means of ex- istence. With equal candour did I answer her, making her aware that I had nothing but my hali-pay as a Prussian officer, and a small pension which I had received in ac- knowledgment of services rendered during the war. There- upon she proposed that I should enter her service as prin- cipal equerry, that office being at the moment vacant. I accepted the offer, accepted it at once, because 1t was made so frankly and so kindly. To have refused it, I must have stated some reason, and as I was poor, out of employment, and totally disengaged, I could invent no excuse of a legiti- mate character. Much less dared I confess that, having loved her in my earlier years, having loved her, too, ever since, and having continued unmarried in order to remain faithful to that romantic love of mine, I dared not accept a post which would constantly retain me about her person. Under these circumstances, therefore, and impelled by such considerations, I at once replied in the affirmative; and behold me installed as equerry in the establishment of that princess whose image had dwelt in my heart for more than twenty years. Now, candidly speaking, Mr. Loftus, I will admit that there was possibly some little indiscretion — ”’ ‘ Pardon me for interrupting you, Baron Bergami,”’ said our hero, “ but I think that you have exculpated your- self from any blame, even the slightest, in respect to taking office in the household of the princess. But that her Royal Highness was somewhat indiscreet in making the proposal to you, I certainly think.”’ “ Consider, Mr. Loftus, that she is of the most artless, unsuspecting disposition,’ exclaimed Bergami. ‘‘ Harbour- GOmiicdoo! ‘S Go}