The Works of George W. M. Reynolds — page 222: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TWO DOORS 205 cation or an excuse for my own errors. No, I have fallen, and I am punished for my fall. Forced to withdraw, as I have said, from the sphere wherein I had been accust@med to move, I came upon the Continent. This was in January last, and I took up my abode in Paris, where for some weeks I dwelt in seclusion. A faithful female friend in London, with whom I corresponded, informed me from time to time that my noble lover — should I not rather say destroyer of my peace? — was reported to be still upon the Continent. Suddenly an idea struck me, and I marvelled that it had not entered my mind before. What if I were to seek him, endeavour to bring him back to my arms, make him atone for the wrong he had done me by the present tenderness and future constancy of his behaviour toward me? I longed to seek him for this purpose. But my pride stood in the way. As a woman I had been wronged, as a woman I craved for revenge. Revenge? no, not if he would love me still. A few more weeks passed, and at length I found — oh, how can I confess the humiliating truth to you, Mr. Loitus? But still it must be told, and that truth is, I became paintully aware that my dishonour would bear its fruit, that I was in the way to become a mother.”’ Mrs. Roberts averted her head while she made this avowal in low and tremulous accents; then, with a profound sigh, she became suddenly silent. Jocelyn felt all the awkward- ness of their relative position, — he, a young man, alone at that midnight hour with her, a young woman, and she. making these strange and painful revealings to his ears, while he experienced for her a sympathy and a compassion to which, however, he knew not how to give expression. For when a woman, young and handsome, is not only frail, but makes an avowal of her frailty, the words of sympathy which a generous-hearted young man, himself young and handsome, would utter might so easily be construed into advances of a tender and improper character. It might even be supposed that he was taking advantage of that very weakness which the frail one avowed, in order to obtain the gratification of his own selfish desires. Jocelyn, noble-hearted as he was generous and high-minded, was nevertheless man of the world enough to appreciate alike the delicacy and the awkwardness of his position, in the light which we have just been pointing it out. Thus was it that he forbore from GOmMmiicdoo! <S) (C(O) im