Captain Joe; or, The Days of the Mint — page 15: what you’re looking at

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i | aa ot ooh need THE HALFPENNY STANDARD. 63 ALL IN THE FUN. CHAPTER XXVIL CONTINUED, “Wo brought this note?” Mr. Straddle asked, with a look of astonishment, “ Dagglehisself, sir, He’s a-waitin’ below,” replied Parker. ‘Tell him to call again.” “J did, sir; but-he said-if you knew how important his business was you'd see him at once,” “T suppose I must,” remarked Mr. Straddle with asigh. ‘ Boys, I am called away for a short time, and I beg that von will be quiet.” They were so until the doors closed, when a erfect babel of tongues arose. “Who luoked in the tea-kettle, and then in the copper for Adam Clamp ? jeered Barnacle Bob. “Cheers for Billy Blumup, the amateur detective.’ “You can’t look anywhere withont wearing a pair of telescopes,” Billy retorted. “Go on old gooseberry eyes. Any old sheep would be ashamed of them,” “Say that again and VIL punch your head.” “Whaat with ?? Bob displayed a pair of fists. “They ran away from Thaddeus Nabbs,” sneered Billy. “Call them fists? ‘liey’re more like new potatoes.” “Take one, and see how you like it raw,” Bob guwped, ina fury. 1t was nota very severe blow, but it took effect ou Lilly’s nose and shed his gore and dyed his inuvuvent face and spotless collar. Billy leaped bodily over tie desk and over- turned Bob om his back. Then a resolute and exciting pummelling match took place, during which an inkstand by some means was apset. This put au end to the combat, The two youths were studies in black.and red, and Tom Merry advised a hasty departure to the durmitory tor change of attire and general repairs. They went out jostling each other, and shaking their fists, amid ironical cheers and shouts of laugliter. Mr. Struddle heard the uproar, but could not qiiell it, as he bad invited Bilberry Daggle to the study. The beadle was full of emotion, and com- mencrd ly shedding a copious flow of tears. What are you crying about?’ Mr. Straddle demanded. “Give ine a little time, sir,” Daggle replied. “There are moments in our lives when the strings of our ‘earts sound to mournful music, and just now I feel as if I should bust.” You will be kind enough not to do it in my presence,” said the schoolmaster, “Tam very busy, you will oblige me by telling me what you want.” Bilberry Daggle took a long slip of ruled paper from his pocket. “Tye sathe,” We said, “to ask you to sub- scribe to a good cause. Mister Blowbottle have promised a tanner—I mean sixpeuce— Guiggson is down for fourpence and a bunch o turnips, Brittle is goim to send a set o’ chipped jugs, and LTve guaranteed to do suummat if you will only head the list.” “But what-is it all about, and on whose behalfis the subscripton got up for ?” ‘“‘He’s a man,” replied Daggle, “ wich if you take him for all and all he’s uni-que, and I may say pictures-que. He’s a man, sir, as have walked through foul weather and fine for Henzland, ’ome, and booty. I alloods, sir, to Marcus Runnew.” “The rascal !? eried Mr. Straddle. is the matter with him.?” * What “Need you arsk, -sir?” Daggle rejoined, in areproachful tone of voice. “ W’en pails o’ water fly about like parched peas in a fire shovel w’at’s more likely to give a man a cold in his ’ead and a severe chill under his veskit ?” “And dared he to ask you to call on me ?” “T took it on my own rimpossibility,” Dagele said. “Yes, sir, on my own rimpossibility. | He did not throw himeelf on the sick list, nor on his club, but he’s been werry bad and he looks to you for redress.” “Then in one word I tell you he will not get it!” “Hoh !” said Daggle. “Well, I must say I didn’t expect sich a rebuff.” “T sent for Runnem,” Mr. Straddle con- tinued, “and he came here in a_ beastly state of intoxication. He muddled his head with my sherry, grew insolent and pugna- cious.” - ‘He howns thaf he has dropped in at the ‘Crab and Bitten Toe’ to tell Paddle that his clock was five minutes slow. But don’t be hard on a man as ’ad to go on his beat as drenched as baby’s sop. Give him summat, sir, for Old Langy Sign ?” T will do nothing of the kind. Go, please— leave me, Daggle, as Mr. Slimmie has left me, aud I am very busy.” But Daggle seemed to be in no hurry to go away. He sat perfectly still and rubbed his knees thoughtfully, and then all of a sudden he closed his eyes and began to snore. “Bless my heart !” said Mr. Straddle, “the man has gone to sleep. What am I to do with him? This is really a very distressing state of things. Daggle, wake up—wake up, I say !” Bue activity. The slip of paper fell from his hand, his head sunk heavily on his breast, and he snored louder than ever. z *T have no wish to lave another scene in my house,” mused Mr. Straddle, “and I sup- pose I had better leave him here. I will dis- miss the school and call on Mr. Banger.” He hastened to carry this resolution into effect, and telling Parker to keep watch over the study, left the house. Parker was in high glee. “Pve soucthiw else to do besides lookin’ after a beery beadle,” he said; “VII just give Master Merry the tip, and then go about my own business.” This he did; and what was more natural than that Tom.and his chuins should at once hie to the bower. Daggle had chosen to dream sweetly on Billy Blump forgot that his nose was twice its ordinary size; and Bob was oblivious for the time of the fact that his lips looked like two polonies. *)ll run an’ get:my colour-box,” said Thad- deus Nabbs ; “and if 1 don’t turn Daggle out a thing of beauty and a joy for ever, never be- lieve me again.” While Nabbs was on his mission, Tom cut a sheet of paper into an enormous cock- ade, and gummed it to the side of Daggle’s hat. St. Clair wrote on the sleeping one’s back with a crayon, “ The fifth of November is coming, boys!” and Billy Blump added to it, “An old score (not Paddles) chalked off.” By this time Thaddeus Nabbs had re- turned. First he painted the spacious tip of Daggle’s nose a bright blue, then broad green rime round his eyes, and bedaubed his cheeks plentifully with vermilion, the beadle showed no_ signs of “Now,” said Tom, “I think we can wake him up. Slowtack, bellow like a bull into his ear, and then follow us to the play- gronud. Come along, boys. Don’t laugh until we are outside, or Daggle may wake up.” Slowtack task. He had lungs of leather when he liked to use them, aud no sooner was he left alone with the slumberer than he gave vent to a roar which might have been mistaken for a forhorn. Daggle’s eyes flew open, and he jerked ‘out his legs and arms as if a galvanic battery lad been used to rouse him to conscious- ness. “Where ’ave I wandered to?” he gasped. was just the youth for the “This ain’t Paddle’s parlour. Lor! ha mercy. I remember all about it. P’rhaps Mister Straddle’s gone for, assistance to chuck me out, but Vl go of my hown accord,” Unconscious of the spectacle he presented, he rose, and meandered slowly down the stair- case. “Hullo!” cried Parker, suddenly confront- ing him. What are you doin’ here ?” “T want to get hout,” Dagyle replied, ‘I've been in a kind o’ trance, This is the fourth one I ’ave had this week, and Pm goiug to see the doctor for advice.” “You can’t go out this way,” Parker said. “Follow me, and [ll show you out by a side door.” Bilberry Daggle was not: way he got out, so long as to depart in peace. But imagine his horror and amazement when he found himself in the playground, and instantly surrounded by a crowd of boys. “This,” said Tom Merry, “ must be the king of the Cannibal Islands. Boys, down on your knees to him.” “You have made a mistake,” cried Billy Blump. ‘He is second cousin to the Hmperor of Chinas grandmother's sister’s aunt.” Bilberry Daggle smiled a kind of sickly smile. : “TI likes a good joke as well as any man breathin’,’ he said, ‘‘ but I lavemwt time to *preciate one now. Let me pass, if you please ?” / At this very moment Mi, Stratford Straddle and Mr. Banger passed through the gates, At the sight of the beadle both gentlemen stopped as if they had run against a brick wall. “ Bless my heart !” said Mr. Banger ; “ what is this? It must be some wild animal hitherto unknown to natural history.” “Tt is nothing of the kind, roared Mur, Straddle, ‘It is your confounded beadle.” Mr. Banger forthwith pounced on the un- fortunate beadle, thumped his head, pulled his ears, and smacked his ace. The attack was so sudden and unexpected that Bilberry Daggle stood perfectly still and stared all he knew out of his hideously-painted eyes. Mr. Banger was going for him again, when Daggle, who probably thought that he had had quite enough of being converted into a punching machine, turned the tables by hitting Banger in the region where. he kept his stock of wind. It was never a great stock at any time, Mr. Bangei’s hands flew up, and his head | perlormed the postiman’s knock on the cold, hard ground. ee which e was allowed (To be continued.) comiclboolks Coin