The Steam-Packet: A Tale of the River and the Ocean — page 80: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE STEAM PACKET. 59 the combatants, whom he allegorically apostrophised as ‘‘ cripples,’’ to ‘‘ go it,” inasmuch as “ crutches were cheap;” now recommending the captain to ‘‘ mind his eye,”’ or to hit his opponent “ upon the raw; ” triumphantly soliciting attention to the fact, that his master had “‘ tapped, the enemy’s claret ;’’ conjuring the former to hit the latter “hard,” assigning as a reason, “that he had no friends to tell;’’ and, finally, whenever the stout passenger received a hard blow, advising him ‘* to put it into his pipe and smoke it.””. This conduct, we repeat, on the part of Mr. Thomas Gibbins, contributed not a little to enliven the scene. Still the deadly contest terminated not ;—but at length an auxiliary force showed itself upon the spot where this celebrated action was fought, Mr. Buckram, alias Lord Noodleton, who had been all the morning whispering soft nonsense in the ears of Belinda, during those intervals when Mrs. Pifpaf’s ‘‘ poor head” compelled her to suspend the conversation, for some moments experienced as much delight in beholding the proceedings of the combatants as the sailors themselves ; but at length, perceiving that the redoubtable captain was getting much the worst of the business, between the passenger and the water- man, he determined to proceed to his assistance. He accordingly low- ered himself gently into the boat, and announced his presence to the waterman by meaus of a blow which laid that belligerent flat in the bottom of his own boat. But his succour, however well intended, was not quite timely enough. The John-Bull gentleman had so far over- powered the captain, as to be now enabled to throw him half-way over the side of the boat. The captain struggled desperately—the ladies on board the packet screamed,—the Luminaries exclaimed one to another, ‘Shall I go and help him?” “Shall I assist him ?”’ but no one moved,—and Mr. Pifpaf, in the confusion of his ideas, drew his little official hammer from his pocket and began knocking it violently upon the bulwark, exclaiming, ‘‘ Order, gentlemen—order !”’ | Mr. Buckram saw his friend’s danger, but was compelled to move cautiously for fear of upsetting the wherry. He, however, made as much haste as he could to the aid of his friend—but all too late. The stout passenger made one desperate effort, and hurled the captain into the river. An ejaculation of horror proclaimed the feelings of the Luminaries, when they thus beheld the defeat of their gallant champion ;—and a terrible scream issued from the lips of the ladies; while the venerable Mr. Pifpaf bawled ‘‘ Order! order!” and rapped his hammer louder and quicker than ever. Butthe danger of Captain Pentonville was not destined to be attended with fatal consequences: good people are too scarce to be lost so easily. His friend the tailor extended a helping hand, Gomichbooks (E(0)