Pickwick Abroad; or, The Tour in France — page 390: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PICKWICK ABROAD. Sie ‘© A very clever retort, too, Sam,” remarked Mr. Pick wick. ‘‘ But to return to the subject of marriage, Sam. What did you do the first thing in the morning of your wedding-day ?” ** Had a pint o’ half-an’-half, Sir,” was the very candid reply; ‘an’ then I eat two pounds o’ cold weal-pie for breakfast. I could'nt drink water on that there mornin’, cos it’s nerwous. Bohay don’t agree vith von on them kind o’ days: so I valked into the bottled porter. Ven nerves is bad, malt drinks is good.” “Ts that a fact, Sam?” said Mr. Pickwick. ‘‘I have a very great mind to try a glass of something to compose myself.” ‘*¢ A glass o’ beer, or a goo’ summot short, ain’t no bad thing on these oc-casions,” returned Mr. Weller. “ But you must mind an’ look wery doleful ven Bishop Luscombe goes for to pro-nounce the blessin’ at the Hambassador’s Chapel. Itain’t respectful to be grinnin’ avay like clock-vork. The wisage ought to ac-cord vith the ceremony, as the clown said at the theaytre ven they asked him to perform Hamlet.” ‘*¢ And as you went to church, Sam,” pursued Mr. Pickwick, “‘ how did you behave to your intended ?” “Vy, Sir,’ was the immediate answer, ‘‘I couldn’t wery vell kiss her afore the t’ other people, so I jist squeezed her elber, an’ vhis- pered in her ear that she vos as pretty as a pocket Wenus. Then as ve passed a shop, I made her look in at the vinder and choose summot for herself. I think a squeeze round the vaist is as good as any thing else. Vimen likes little attentions, as the vatchman said ven he handed the nobleman’s vife a flask o’ brandy.”’ ‘“*T think I shall profit by your advice, now,” said Mr. Pickwick; as he merged with exceeding ease and elasticity from his bed. In half an hour the great man had completed his toilet; and when ne entered the dining-room he was forthwith congratulated by his three friends, whose felicitations were delivered in such a strain of simultaneous enthusiasm that Mr. Pickwick did not understand one word that was uttered by either, Presently the front-door bell rang, and Mr. Kallaway made his ap- pearance. In another quarter of an hour, a loud peal announced Mr. Septimus Chitty ; and shortly afterwards Mr. Hock Walker, between “whom and Mr. Scuttle peace had been re-instated, was ushered into the presence of him whom he came to honour. ‘““It is a part of my system to be early on such occasions,’ Mr. Walker, as he glanced towards the breakfast-table. ‘“* My father-in-law was always the first to feed the pigs in the morning,” remarked Mr. Kallaway. ‘‘ Why—what do youthink Tom Smith said one afternoon when the vicar had been out coursing all day on Sunday and thought it was Saturday ?” ** Has any one written a poem upon the occasion?” enquired Mr. Chitty of Mr. Pickwick. “A poem, did yousay, Sir ?” ejaculated Mr. Snodgrass; and leading Mr. Chitty to the window, he commenced a long conversation with that gentleman upon the art of poesy. “He said that a man who'd got up early and fed his own pigs,” continued Mr. Kallaway, “‘ was an ornament to his country. Sol think he is; for what should we do without good pork 2? What would become of us without sausages ?” | 48 ? sald EM PMICELYOOL KS. (EC) =