Pickwick Abroad: A Companion to the Pickwick Papers — page 163: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PICKWICK ABROAD. expressive nor. of the head: “ wery business like ; an’ yet them post-boys, vith thei rum- lookin’ boots an’ spurs, isn’t quite so reglar as the coachmen you meets vith at the Bell Savage. They ain’t got the corpilance Sammy, as makes the English coachman the enwiable bein’ he is.” “Prhaps their wittles doesn’t per-duce the same effects,” observed Sam, “Tt isn’t that, Sammy,” said Mr. Weller, senior, in a most mysterious whisper ; “it isn’t the wittles, Sammy—it’s the drinks as does it ;’—and having thus explained him- self, the old gentleman thrust his fingers in- to his son’s ribs, retreated a pace or two, shook his head ominously, and then added in his most solemn tone, “ It’s only ve coach- men as understands them there things.” | “So I should think,” said Sam, very coolly. “Ah! it’s a great pity that the genevine preed o’ English coachmen is a-goin’ out as rapid as possible,” continued old Mr. Weller. “You may look in wain for the good fellers as used to get so precious lushy they couldn’t sit on the boxes! ‘Wot a loss they has been to the nation !” “A wery great loss they must be,” said Sam.” _ * Loss, eh—to be sure they is!” exclaimed nis father, in a tone which seemed to imply astonishinent that the fact of thei being a loss could have been ever doubted. “ Vere do you see a English coachman o’ the new school as can take his sixteen tumblers 0’ erog betwixt the Bell Savage in London, and the Fountain at Portsmouth, to say nothin’ o’ ale and bitters, or pints o’ purl vich inwariably goes for nothin’? Them chaps doesn’t exist any longer, Sammy ; and that’s the reason o’ them rail-roads being so rey successful.” “To be sure it is,” said Mr. Porrett. “Without a doubt,” coincided Mr. Knack- ers. “You're in your own element now, as the gen’leman said ven he chucked his vife into the tub o’ hot vater,”’ cried Sam, by way of encouraging his father to proceed in his dis- course. | “ An’ if coachmen goes to rack an’ ruin in this kind © vay,” continued Mr. Weller, senior, “I don’t hesitate for to say, that the nation itself ‘ll soon be done up. England never flourished till she had stage-coaches; an’ the reason vy the selvidges isn’t as civil- ised as us, is ’cos they hasn’t got coaches. Do you think them cannibals ud wenture to eat up a stage-coachman ?” 149 Mr. Tony Weller glanced around him with the satisfaction and triumph of a man who has put an unanswerable question in the shape of an argument—commonly called “a pozer,” in order to meet the idiomatic ex- pression of the “ argumentum ad hominem,” used by the respectable ancients. The above discourse took place in the im- . mediate vicinity of a diligence, which certain hostlers were preparing for a journey te Brussels. The baggage was already heaped upon the summit of the ponderous machine —the wheels had been greased—and the five horses were standing very quietly while their keepers fastened the ropes to the splinter-bars and elsewhere, as the case might be. One man in particular, who was so en- gaged, attracted the elder Mr. Weller’s at- tion. The horse, with which this man was busying himself, happened to have a real leathern trace, (how happy the animal, or rather its sides, ought to have been ?); and the groom seemed amazingly puzzled how to arrange it, properly. “Wot.a’ excruciatin’ fool that there feller is,” cried Mr. Weller the elder; and darting forward, he pushed the hostler aside, seized hold of the trace, and began attaching it tc its right place, with all the skill and ability an Lh anna of five-and-twenty years x, e supposed to have taught him. or a moment the hostler was too much astonished by the abruptness of the proceed- ing to utter a word ; but as soon as his sudden surprise. was passed, he dealt. a most vigor- ous push to Mr. Weller, senior, and muttered certain French expressions which Mr. Weller, junior, fully understood, and highly repro- bated. “Don’t you come a shoyin’ yourself on me, young man,” cried the elder Mr. Weller, “or Pl show you the reason vy.” , “ Sacre mille tonnerres !” exclaimed the uritated functionary, repeating the thrust. - Tony Weller uttered not another word at that moment; but very coolly tak ing off his coat, he put himself into a highly interesting and graceful attitude of pugil- ism and began sparring away like clock- work. 7 “Come along, my fine feller,” cried the excellent old man; and by way of inducing his antagonist to come on, he knocked him about three yards off with one blow of his clenched fist. “Holloa, old double-vicket !” ejaculated Sam ; “wot does all this mean ?” £ sw» & EO LOO) SS (C©)