Out of the Past — page 64: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Out of the Past. 61 that made me. Chance! The distorted shadow of a ' God-like law; that is my tutelary. Under its watery, shifting star I was born, and my life will shift with it like sand in the tides, sucked up in one to be snatched back in another. Yet I must liveit. I will lead it honorably ; there shall be that grain of gold in the silt, though it enrich no one. In ugly truth, I am so far beneath what you should honor that I ought to apologize for having shaped events so that I might know you. I shall thank God for the memory of it. The thought of it will come to me in hard times, like water to a man thirsting. Oh, why did they not leave out my heart and soul when they made me! It would have been easy!” Silence rose between them in the darkness, an in- tolerable barrier which maddened Robert beyond endur- ance. “Rose!” he cried. “Rose!” There was no answer. Nothing met his hands where she had stood. He waited until the sound of Mme. Blanc’s key grated through the halls. Then he went away, and in the morning he found that Rose had gone. CONNICLOOOKS (E(0)