Out of the Past — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Out of the Past. 23 your son. Even Pater Benedict sides against my under- standinge—Benedict, usually so just.’ * * * “A violinist is needed at the Grand Opera House. I shall apply. I shall succeed. How simple it all seems. All my struggle was with the phantoms of my brain, after all. “*T obtained leave and went to the trial. My mind is still on fire with it—not with the examination, but with life in its struggle of man to man. The pitting of oneself against other men-—-there was the fearful pleasure. I want more men to meet like that. * * * “To-day I have secured my rooms and I go on duty to-motrow. There is but one sore spot—my Pater. I should have told him yesterday had he not been in Rouen. I fear he will see only ingratitude in this. A soul so high as his is never at war with itself as mine Is. It will not stoop to measure a sacrifice as I measure the sacri- fice of every day and every hour. With a nature greater and more turbulent than mine, he treads this joyless road serenely when my whole being would be in revolt. What a joy it would be to take him with me into the world! What a path we would hew—my paladin, Pater and I. But I am an enthusiastic fool. He has no love of the world. He will chide me.’ ” CONNIE OOOKS