The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 291: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. ———$—__ 285 ———— the secret of the love with which you have inspired me—that love which is consuming me 99> At first Christina was filled with confusion and trepidation at the sudden appearance of Octavian: the next moment she was terrified by his manner : but now she said in an agitated voice, “ My lord, I beseech you not to address me in these terms! It is an insult to that wife of yours who 1s indeed the angel you declare her to be !” “But you must hear me, Christina!” replied Octavian, who was labouring under the most powerful excitement. “To whom else can I address myself on such a subject, if not to you,—you whom she loves— you who are her friend ie “ My lord, for the very reason that your amiable wife regards me as a friend & “ Christina, it is useless for you to treat me thus! Good heavens, your coldness kills me! Those who love, can recognise love in others—and I know that I am not altogether indifferent to you!” “My lord, I can hear no more!” exclaimed our heroine, with burning blushes upon her cheeks: and she moved towards the door. “ Recollect !” he said, hastening to intercept her passage: “if you leave the room thus abruptly, Zoe will inquire the reason—and you will have to inform her that I have insulted you—that I have outraged your delicacy,—and what a dagger will this be to drive deep down into her heart !” “Good heavens, in what a position are you placing me!’ murmured Christina, so painfully affected—so bewildered, perplexed, and even an- guished, that she knew not what to do. “Christina, I tell you that I am half mad!” hastily rejoined Lord Octavian Meredith. “ That angel in human shape is making every sacrifice of feeling for my sake! She knows that I love another—but she does all she can to prevent me from suspecting that she has that knowledge which is preying upon her very vitals! And now she is going abroad—and she will not allow me to accom- pany her !” “ My lord,” interrupted Christina vehemently, and even with passion,— it would be infamous —it would be abominable on your part, to allow your wife to go alone in search of that health which you yourself have destroyed—and which, alas ! alas! she may perhaps never regain !” “T take God to witness,’ cried Meredith, still labouring under the strongest excitement, “that I have implored and entreated—I have prayed and besought Zoe to permit me to go with her: but she will not. Mild, submissive, and meek in all other respects as she is, she shows herself firm and decided upon this one point. But, Oh! the pre- texts and excuses which in her magnanimity of soul she invents! She declares that to drag me after her, weak and languid as she is—to have the continued consciousness that I am enchained to an invalid wife—would only render her Continenta! travel a punishment to herself, rather than a means of working a benefit. No: she will not allow me !—and she has even succeeded in persuad- ing her father that to regain her health she must go alone !” “My lord,” cried Christina, again speaking vehemently and passionately; “if you do not accompany her ladyship, you will be guilty of a cruelty so abhorrent »> a <_< SS sp stl = “That it will even make you hate me?” he said, in a voice which was hoarse with the excite- ment of his harrowed feelings. ‘“ By heaven, it will only require that to impel me to suicide at once |” “ My lord!” half-shrieked Christina. “Oh, yes! I tell you that I am well nigh mad,” ejaculated the young nobleman: and he pas- sionately tossed the rich clusters of his hair away from his throbbing brows. “You know not how much I have suffered since you were here last-— three mortal weeks of one long agony! Heaven can attest that I have striven—Oh! I have striven to do my duty towards Zoe, and to banish you from my memor “ “My lord,” cried Christina, “ your language as a married man is an offence and an insult to my ears. You know that I dare not heave the room for fear that your angel-wife should suspect how you are treating me: and therefore your con- duct is cruel—most ungenerous! It amounts toa persecution : and I entreat no, 1 command you to be silent !” “Oh! give me your hatred, Christina, if you will,” exclaimed the young nobleman, who did indeed appear as if he were going mad, “ rather than your cold indifference! Am I to blame because I have no control over my own feelings? No, no—it were monstrous to judge me thus harshly! Christina,” he continued, in a milder manner, “I tell you again and again that I have striven to do my duty towards Zoe: I have forced myself to dwell upon all her goodness—her amia- bility—and what is more, upon the sublime gene- rosity of her disposition; I have endeavoured to catch the transfusion of that love which she cherishes for me but in all these have I failed ! Now, am I to be blamed for this? No, no—I am to be pitied!—and you see before you the most miserable wretch upon the face of the earth !” It were impossible to describe the feelings which agitated the young maiden as she listened to Octavian’s speech. It affected her almost to tears: and yet her virgin modesty was offended that he should suffer her, however distantly, to understand that it was his love for her which prevented him from performing his duty to his wife. She could not help pitying him from the very bottom of her soul,—at the same time that she felt she ought not to listen to the language he was utter- ing. She would have flown from the room—but the strong reason already specified compelled her to remain there. Never was her situation so pain- ful !—and she could have thrown herself upon the seat to give vent to her feelings in tears, only that she dreaded lest Zoe shold suddenly make her appearance. Ah! but a thought struck her. ‘My lord,” she hastily said, “Zoe was to be absent but for a minute—and twenty have elapsed since she left the room! She may be ill—and I go to succour her.” “Stay!” cried Octavian: “stay!” and he seized her hand. “ Not another second ! cried Christina proudly. The next instant the door closed behind the agitated girl: but scarcely had she thus passed out upon the landing, when she caught the sounds of rapid footsteps ascending the flight leading to the upper storey,—footsteps so light that they Unhand me, my lord!”