The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 168: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

———— 62 THE MYSTERIES complete. She whispered a few words to her mamma, who in order to listen to her eldest girl,” was compelled for the moment to leave off listening to the tender whispers of Mr. Hogben, the enriched twopenny postman; and the result of the whispering between the mamma and the daughter was that the latter conveyed to the Cap- tain an invitation (also ina whisper) to tea on the following evening. “Blow me tight!’ vociferated Bluff, “if I wouldn’t come and tackle your mess-table with the greatest pleasure: but to-morrow there’s a excur- sion down to Margate with my boat—and I must be on the paddle-box from nine in the morning till nine at night.” iiss Chowley blushed red as a peony at the stentorian manner in which her whispered invita- tion to tea was thus proclaimed to the whole com- pany; and Miss Spilsbury—the tall, gaunt maiden lady—drew up her form with a prudishness which made it look still taller and more gaunt than it was before. But this little incident was quickly succeeded by another which attracted general notice. Mrs. Dumpling, who had a keen eye to the spirits, saw that the brandy was so rapidly disappearing she must make haste and finish her first tumbler in order to haye a chance of obtaining a second; and in doing this, some of the hot steaming fluid went what is called “the wrong way.’ So,poor Mrs, Dumpling became almost convulsed with a violent fit of coughing, and looked as if she were going off in an apoplectic fit. “Tap her on the back !” cried Mrs. Sifkin. “ Cut her stay-lace!’”’ exclaimed Mrs. Wanklin. “Throw water into her face!” said Mrs. Macaulay, with an air of deepest concern, and in- wardly hoping that some one would at once follow out the suggestion by dashing a tumber full of the cold fluid in the choking lady’s countenance. * Hase her!’ eried Captain Bluff, in a voice as loud and hoarse as if he were roaring from the top of the paddie-box to the boy stationed at the hatchway of the engine-room. “Stopher! Don’t let her go-ahead like that ’ere! By jingo, she’s gone down starn foremost!’ he vociferatingly added, as the unfortunate Mrs, Dumpling tumbled off her chair. Mr. Chubb, the parish clerk, instantaneously en- deavoured to raise the worthy dame: but he tumbled down likewise—for truth compels us to declare that this very orthodox gentieman was now exces- cessively drunk, “That's all the effect of your good wine, ma’am,” roared Captain Bluff, with a shout of laughter. ‘ Their bilers is busted—their ingins is all stopped —-they’re veglarly brandy-logged I knowed how it would be! They must ile their wheels well for theirselves afore they’ll go agin.” At first Mrs, Macaulay was inclined to be very indignant and to seem very much disgusted at this exhibition on the part of Mrs. Dumpling and the parish clerk; but the compliment conveyed by Captain Bluff in respect to her wine, not merely appeased her in a moment, but made her look upon the scene with a complaisant and satisfied air. Mrs. Dumpling was speedily raised up in the brawny arms of Captain Bluff; while Christian performed the same kind office for Mr. Chubb. “Vm afeard you're werry drunk, sir,” said the OF THE COURT. Captain, now finding leisure to address this ob- servation with John Bull bluntness and seamanlike frankness to the discomfited parish clerk,—“ werry drunk indeed, sir! and I likes for to see it. Shows you've been enjoying yourself !” “Amen!” gutturally hiccoughed Mr. Chubb. “Do, my dear young friend,” said Mrs, Macaulay to Christian, “see the poor man home. He lives in Duke Street—next door, you know, to the baker’s where you used to deal when you lived here.” *T will see him home with much pleasure,” ree plied young Ashton. “ But do you think he can stand ?” “Stand ?” echoed Chubb: and the next moment he began rapping out such a series of profane oaths that the Miss Chowleys shrieked in dismay— and Mrs. Chowley was so much overcome that she fell into the arms of Mr. Hogben, who kindly offered to deliver her at her own door, though per- haps it would prove the weightiest letter he had ever in all his experience had so to deliver, As for Miss Spilsbury, she pursed up her mouth with supreme disgust; while Mrs. Sifkin whispered to Mrs. Wanklin that if people would cheat their guests with wine at one-and-threepence, making them believe it cost five shillings a bottle, it was no wonder such consequences should ensue. In the midst of the confusion Christian managed to get the parish clerk out of the room, and anon out of the house: but scarcely had he been thus conducted into the fresh air, when Mr. Chubb seemed doggedly determined to sit down upon the front-door steps; and with sundry imprecations invoked against his own eyes and limbs, he per- sisted in pulling off his coat and high-lows, with the idea that he was in his own chamber and about to get into bed. Christian experienced the greatest trouble in lifting him up again; and as he led the parish clerk along, this inebriate gentleman shouted forth a strange medley, consisting of portions of the hundredth psalm and of a bacchanalian song; so that it was fortunate indeed ‘they encountered no policemen, or Mr. Chubb might have passed the remainder of the mght in the station-house. Ultimately our young hero succeeded in getting the parish clerk to his own door,—which they thus reached as some adjacent church-clock was pro- claiming the hour of midnight. It was a private house: for Mr. Chubb was a schoolmaster—and his school-room was at the back part of the pre- mises, with an entrance from another street. <A light was burning in the front-parlour; and the moment Christian knocked at the door, that light disappeared, so that he knew his summons was to be at once attended to. He heard a chain let fall within ; and the door was opened. But Christian was seized with amazement at the first glance which he threw upon the being who thus opened that door. She was a young creature of not more than sixteen, and of the most ravishing beauty. That same glance showed him too that there was an air of superiority about her—a natural gentility which forbade the thought that she could be the daughter of the parish clerk. Yet she was plainly though neatly dressed ; and thus so far as her ap- parel went, she might have belonged to the Chubb family. But Christian felt convinced she did not, There was as much difference between the clumsy vulgarity of Mr, Chubb and the exquisite gentility COnmicooolkKxs,.c@