The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 51: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

34 eS eee an tion which I presented to your lordship, that I have retired trom business——” “ Yes—from hanking.” “Well, from banking then, if you prefer it. I suppose that the term business is a leetle too vulgar Pp” ‘‘ Between you and me, my dear Mr. Gunthorpe, it is vulgar—excessively vulgar.” “Grates upon one’s nerves, eh?” said the old gentleman, seeming to laugh good-naturedly. “Oh, terribly!” cried Lord Saxondale. ‘To me it’s just like cutting iron with a file.” ‘Well then,” proceeded Mr. Gunthorpe, “as I was observing, I have retired from banking, and mean to settle down somewhere in England. [I told Snuff——I beg your pardon—my attorney I mean —I won’t mention his name, because that also will most likely grate upon your nerves: but I told him to look out and see if he could purchase me an estate 3 “Ah! but mind what you are doing, Mr. Gun- | thorpe,” exclaimed Lord Harold. ‘ Don’t leave it to your solicitor——” “ Solicitor P’” echoed the old gentleman. “Is that the fashionable name ?” “ Yes—we never say attorney at the West End—_ always solicitor. But as I was going to remark,” | continued Lord Harold, “don’t for heaven’s sake let this solicitor of your’s have the looking out after an | estate tor you. He would only think ot buying you | some tract of land over which a railway is going to | ruv, so that he may have the job of proceeding | acainst the directors for compensation on your be- | balt, Chere would be no pineries and vineries, no hot- | houses and greenhouses, no artificial pieces of water, upon the. 2state- of a lawyer’s choosing: and very : likely he would buy you a brick-field, so that you. might speculate in houses that he might draw up | the leases and sue the tenants for their rent.” “Then wha’ would your lordship advise ?’’ My. Gunthorpe, seeming to acknowledge all the | seriousness andj gravity of the young nobleman’s ob- | ‘eetions. | “Why, since my revered and respected uncle the Marquis has recommended you so especially to my | attention,” answered Lori Harold, “I feel it a duty to offer my services in this matter.” “Ah! then your lordship would undertake to find me a suitable estate?” said Mr. Gunthorpe. | “With the greatest pleasure in the world. But | the wine stands with you.” | “Thank you, Iam getting on uncommonly well. | The fact is,’ added Mr. Gunthorpe, “ not being accustumed to English wines—or rather, I should say, the wines you drink in England—your lordship’s | champagne, madeira, sherry, and port have already got up into my head.” “Oh! they won’t hurt you,” exclaimed Lord Harold. “So help yourself.” | Besides, his taste cannot possibly be good. | asked | you,” rejoined Lord Harold. THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. ee seen a little of life though—have I not, Staunton ? ——and it’s this experience that perhaps makes me look older than I really am.” “ Very likely,” said Mr. Gunthorpe, as he helped himself and passed the decanter. “But as your lordship,” he continued, again addressing himsek to Harold, “ was so kind as to offer me your advice and assistance in settling myself down, perhaps you will sketch out some little plan that you would have me adopt? If Ido not follow the whole details, yet some of them may at least prove valuable sug- gestions.” “ First, let me ask your exact position, my dear Mr. Gunthorpe,” said Lord Harold, flinging a sicnificant look across the table at Saxondale, as much as to imply that they were getting the old gentleman into the right line to make him useful. “You are very rich, of course? that we can pretty well guess. But are you married—any children 43 “Tam a widower, and all my children are grown up and provided for,” returned Mr. Gunthorpe: “so I have only to think of myself.” ; “Good!” observed Lord Harold. “In the first | place, then, you must leave that insufferable place the Bell and Crown, the very name of which raises up odours of pea-soup and boiled beef——” “T can assure you it is a most excellent hotel,” interrupted Mr. Gunthorpe; “and I had serious intentions of asking you and Lord Saxondale to dine with me to-morrow. Their bitter beer is ex- cellent,” ** We never touch malt,” answered Lord Harold: “nor must you, Mr. Gunthorpe, in future—for we mean to launch you out into fashionable life. So you must leave this Bell and Crown, and come up for the present to’some first-rate West End hotel.” “But it must be in a line of omnibuses to the City,” observed Mr. Gunthorpe. “Oh, fie! omnibuses indeed!” exclaimed Lord Harold. ‘ You must have a drag of your own.” “Leave me to find our friend a suitable trap,” observed Saxondale. ‘‘ Drag—trap P” repeated Mr. Gunthorpe, /ooking bewildered. “ Those words sound very vulgar indeed to my ears.” “Perfectly fashionable and correct, I can assure ‘Well then, we are agreed so far that you come up to the West End, establish yourself at an hotel, and set up your drag. Then you must have a tiger-———” ~ “ God forbid!” ejaculated Mr. Gunthorpe, turning pale. “TI have an abhorrence for wild beasts. But why not a boa constrictor at once ?” “You don’t understand,” replied Lord Harold “we mean an elegant little livery servant. And then you must have your valet and your groom. These will do in the shape of slaveys for the present. Then as to horses, leave me and Saxondale to pro- “Hurt you—not they!” cried Lord Saxondale. cure them for you: we know the sort of thing you “T can get as drunk as an owl on good wine, and require. But this is not quite all. You must have never feel the effects next day. It’s only bad wine your box at the Opera; and by rights, in order to that plays the very devil with one.” be quite fashionable—but I don’t do more than “Your experience is doubtless great,” said Mr. just hint at it—you ought to have——” Gunthorpe. “How old is your lordship? Thirty or five-and-thirty ? ’ “Thirty be hanged!” ejaculated Saxondale. “TI am only nineteen and a few months: but I have ce ee ee “What ?” asked Mr. Gunuthorpe. “Your mistress,” was the response. “Will you undertake to find that also?” inquired the old gentleman, refilling his glass, and seeming COMMIClOoOoOKs (E() |