The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 387: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

372 THE MYSTERIES. “ Yes—that he has, aunt,” replied the young woman, in a joyous under-tone: “and I think he’ll succeed altogether soon if he goes on in the same way he has begun.” “Heaven be thanked !” murmured Mrs. Piggle- berry, clasping her hands and turning up the whites of her eyes as if she were going into a fit At this moment the vestry-door was thrown open ; and the leaders of the New Lights came forth into Salem Chapel, which was densely crowded from floor to roof. The Rev. Mr. Sneaksby and the Rev. Mr. Snag, each in his black gown, walked first : the Secretary, Mr. Gotobed Tumpkins, was immediately behind them ;—and Messrs. Paxwax and Crick brought up the rear. A subdued murmur of ap- plause greeted their entrance—the nature of the oc- casion permitting such an expression of feeling on the part of the congregation, inasmuch as the meeting was rather for business purposes than of a religious complexion. Indeed, it was a “Special Assemblage of the Elect,” convened “to take into holy and pious consideration the state of the funds connected with Salem Chapel and other matters deeply important to the progress of the good cause.” The Rev. Untbank Snag ascended the reading desk, while the Rev. Nathaniel Sneaksby slowly and demurely hoisted himself up into the pulpit: Messrs. Tumpkins, Paxwax, and Crick took their places in the Elders’ Pew. Mr. Paxwax gave out a hymn, with a request that it might be sung to the tune of the Old Hundreth: but the congregation manifested a complete inde- pendence and a remarkable freedom of opinion in this respect—chaunting the hymn to all possible tunes, real or imaginary. However, the discordant harmony, if we may be allowed so antithetical an expression, passed off to the satisfaction of all pre- sent; and at tlie conclusion of the melody, Mr. Snag invoked a blessing upon the proceedings. The Rev. Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby then rose in the pulpit and commenced his address. He said that the chosen had been summoned for the purpose of considering the state of the funds specially belonging tothe Chapel. Those funds were in a very unsatisfactory condition, and must be aug- mented. The voluntary contributions during the past year had only amounted to 2000/.: the rent absorbed 250L—repairs 150/.—lighting, washing surplices, or- ganist, sextoness, and petty cash, 3004. Then there were 3001 expended in vestry refreshments and in “love-feasts;” and thus 1000/. were accounted for at once. The other 10002 had furnished a bare maintenance for himself (Mr. Sneaksby) and his re- vered coadjutor Mr. Snag. (Marks of deep sym- pathy.) Now it was absolutely necessary that he (Mr. Sneaksby) should have a suitable dwelling near the Chapel, Salem would not prosper without it: the welfare of the New Lights was at stake! Heaven knew that he could content himself with a garret to dwell in and a crust to eat: but the honour, credit, and respectability of the sect itself were com- promised. A thousand pounds would build a couple of neat houses in the vicinage of the Chapel: one at 6001. fot himself—the other at 400J. for his as- sistant, that chosen vessel Unthank Snag. (Marks of deeper sympathy.) Now this sum of 10002 trust be raised for the purposes named. All money was the Lord’s; and some was now needed for the Lord's work. Let the congregation, then, put their hands into their pockets and pull out the Lord’s money! Having expatiated in this manner at great length Mr. Sneaksby sate down; aud while Mr. Paxwax began to inake a collection in a silver plate on one side of the chapel, Mr. Crick performed the same duty on the other. Half-crowns, shillings, sixpences, and pence rattled quickly into the plates; and here and there some good old gentleman or pious elderly lady dropped in gold. The organ played a tune the whole time that this process was going on; and the sextoness sate with her back against the closed doors of the chapel, to prevent any one from Mheaking out in order to avoid the contribution of his mite to the fund. At length the collection was over ; and the money was counted out in the Elders’ Pew. Then Mr Gotobed Tumpkins wrote down the amount on a slip of paper, which was handed up to the Rev. Nathaniel Sneaksby. ‘Christian friends—brothers and sisters,” exclaimed this pious man, starting up in the pulpit and evidently labouring under great excitement: “I am ashamed of you! Yes—deeply though it afflicts me thus to speak, I am a man of truth—and the truth must be told. Therefore do I repeat that [ am ashamed of you! The collection amounts to a paltry 200L Blessed Salem, which is crowded in every point, holds two thousand persons; and two thousand per- sons have subscribed two hundred pounds! I am ashamed of you! Thiswill notdo. Sextoness, keep the door! The Lord’s money is in your pockets, Christian brethren and sisters; and you must pull it out. ‘The Lord wants his money—and it must be forthcoming. Brother Paxwax— Brother Crick— take round the plates again.” A dead silence followed this harangue: but it was soon broken by the rattling of more coin in the silver plates, as the deputed collectors passed from pew to pew. Superstition has its emulation as well as its influence ;—and, instead of the whole congregation being indignant at the address which had just issued from the pulpit, each individual now felt his honour compromised and his faith tested. The feeling with each was therefore to outvie the rest in munificence ; and those who had previously given copper now con- tributed silver—while they who had given gold in the first instance, now presented Bank-notes. Meanwhile the organ played a Jugubrious tane— the sextoness Jeant firmly against the closed folding- doors—and the Rev. Mr. Nathaniel Sneaksby sate bolt upright, with a severe and ever menacing counte- nance, in the pulpit; while Mr. Snag appeared to be putting up a silent prayer to heaven to open the hearts—or, in another word, the purses—of the con- gregation. The second collection was completed—the money was counted—and the sum total was handed up to Mr. Sneaksby, as before, on a slip of paper. Intense was the anxiety with which the assembled New Lights now contemplated their reveréd pastor. The organ had ceased—and a pin might have been heard to drop in the chapel. “ Christian friends—brothers and sisters,” said the pious gentleman, rising with sanctimonious solemnity and without excitement; “I am cheered—I am re- freshed in spirit—I am inspired to gladness, by this change in the aspect of affairs. I am no longer ashamed of you. To all do I waft the kiss of peace! The subscriptions now amount to 450/. The Lord's money has to some extent coine out of your pockets J ask no more on the present occasion. With this OONRANKA ateilo) S COMM