The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 103: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

36 (ull of the wind-storw, the plash of the rapid current against the piles which served as buttresses to the foundations ef the dwelling. Those sounds, 80 ominous and drear, struck terror to her heart: for they seemed mingled with the moans of drowning men—and the thought that a watery grave lay ready there, beneath the very window, was suggestive of horrible ideas of suicide as a relief to this world’s care and suffering! Yes: it was buta step—a single step that lay between the unhappy girl and the waters of oblivion ;—and yet she dared not take it— Oh-! no-no! Nevertheless, who at that moment was so wretched as Caroline? All the circumstances of her past life and her present position were present to her me- mory with the vividness of stati lightning —if such a phenomenon could possibly have existence, She was an orphan en she retained the fondest re- colleetions of and loving parents, now no more : she had been left to the care of Mrs. Brace, whom she had looked upon as her only friend, and who, while affecting to perform a mother’s part, had thrown the unprotected girl in the way of the syste- matic seducer! Him she had loved—madly, fer- vently loved; and in Ais presence her looks had beamed with a radiance more divine and a brilliance more warm than the scorching rays of that land to which her mother had belonged and where she her- self first saw the light. For Spanish blood flowed in her veins, and imparted a higher glow to her trans- parent brunette complexion than characterises Eng- lish beauty! But when she had surrendered the only earthly treasure which she possessed—her virtue—to him who had won her young heart’s best and purest affections, she soon—Oh! too soon—perceived that it was not love which she had read in his impassioned looks, but a gross sensuality that when appeased left him comparatively cold and distant. For some time did she close her eyes as well as she was able to this sickening—deeolating truth; and when she found herself in a way to become a mother, she was fond, and confiding, and sanguine enough to hope that he would fulfil all his promises—accomplish all his yows—and give a father’s honourable name to the child that was in due time to be ushered into the world. He did not spurn her—he did not even dis- dain her prayer, it is true: but he replied in a man- ner that left her only to persist in hoping on even against the destruction of hope itself. Then came the necessity of her retirement to the midwife’s abode: and here we now find her,—alone in her chamber—in a solitude made more terrible by her own distracting thoughts. O God! how often is it that woman is destined to pour out the divinest flood of her bosom’s affections and her soul’s sympathies into a heart which is hol- low, vacant, and unfilled to the last !—how often does woman—beautiful, adorable woman—perish mise- rably through the vileness of that man’s heart which is thus unworthy to receive.that torrent of holiest devotion—that full tide of purest love! And how often it is, great heaven! that not only does one woman pine and die for such a heart,—but that a hundred living, bursting female hearts are doomed to perish wretchedly, wretchedly for the infamy of one man ! But if Caroline Walters could no longer live for love—yet she might still live on for vengeance! A great change had come over the young girl during the twenty-four hours which she had now passed be- THE MYSTERIES. neath the midwife’s roof She no longer attempted to veil from her sight the misery of her position. Lost—betrayed—abandoned by him whom she had adored, the full measure of his deceit and treachery developed itself, in all its black details, to her appalled ; : | understanding. Then came jealousy, too,—running | like the bursting of a pent-up torrent through every . avenue of her soul;—and she felt assured that she had been deserted for some other fair one! Her — Spanish blood boiled like a lava-stream in her veins; | —and a thirst for vengeance, acquiring all the inten- sity of a ferocious passion, penetrated like a consum- ing flame into the very depths of the young girl's ing ! . The dark nature of her thoughts scared her, as she thus sate ruminating in her lonely chamber. The ideas upon which her bewildered mind settled itself—ideas urging her Spanish nature to revenge —appeared to be a crime. But the longer she studied them—the more she dwelt upon them, the less startling did they become. And then arose new sources of terror in the influence, which the raging wind-storm without and the plashing of the turbid waters below exercised upon her soul ;—and lastly came those thoughts of suicide, which con- vulsed her entire frame with ineffable horror. But, no—no : she must live for vengeance! Rising from her seat, and casting a hurried glance around the chamber,—which was small, but neatly furnished, though gloomy in its aspect,— she felt that she must do something to occupy her mind. She knew that she could not sleep even it she retired to her couch ;—and her utter loneliness alike of position and of mind, began to have an influence over her which was intolerable. What if she were to seek an hour's companion- ship with one of the four young females to whom she had been introduced, and with whom she had passed the greater portion of the day? They were kind and compassionate towards her: for they were in a condition even to afford consolation, inasmuch as they did not feel their own degraded state as deeply and as severely as Caroline felt her's. Yes: she would stealthily seek the chamber of some one of those young women ; for every instant was the awful sense of solitude becoming more difficuls to endure. __ Taking the candle in her hand, she stole noise- leasly forth from her room: but when she found herself in the large landing outside, and beheld three or four doors besides her own opening thence, she knew not at which to knock. After hesitating for a few moments, she blamed herself for her irresolution; and, tapping gently at the door of the chamber précisely opposite, waited for the answer. None reached her ear : and, grow- ing positively terrified by the deep silence which reigned throughout the house and which bad in it something mysteriously awful at the time when the wind was roaring in such terrific gusts without, she opened the door. A glance into the room con- vinced her that it was not a sleeping-chamber : nevertheless, an unaccountable feeling of curiosity prompted her to enter. She crossed the threshold and advanced, holding the candle high up so as to obtain a complete view of the place. It was a lumber-room, where broken farniture and articles not in use were stowed away; and it had that peculiar disagreeable, earthly smell which invariably prevails in apartments constantly shut COMIGROO S Gon