The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 219: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

208 THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. of to-day——Oh! Christina, you would have awakened me from a dream—you would have aroused me to my senses! But no, no—you did it not! I told you that I loved you—you knew it—I even went so far as to declard that all my hopes of happiness were concentrated in the idea —the one idea that you might yet become my own adored and cherished wife; and you did not tell me that you loved another! It is true that you answered me with what methought was a becom- ing maiden dignity—and I loved you all the more tenderly for it. But still there was something in your manner, Christina, which at that time bade me h ” “No, my lord—no!” vehemently interrupted the young maiden, who had hitherto listened with the reader may conceive how much distress and anguish of mind to that long and passionately de- livered speech, which was full of accusations that her sense of maidenly propriety would not permit her to explain away. “Ob, but it was so, Christina!” exclaimed Mere- dith, terribly excited. “ But if not then, what of last nightP Think you that when the first word of allusion to this maddening, despairing love of mine had fallen from my lips,—think you, I ask, whether my speech would not have been checked if you, with that candour which I fancied you to possess, had at once told me that you loved an- other? Oh! Christina, it was not well of you. My God! how much have I suffered on your ac. count !—and to be rewarded thus! If you loved me not, it was your duty to proclaim that fact. To keep it back, was to bid me hope! It was worse, —it was playing the part of a coquette !—it was heartless—it was wrong !” Overwhelmed with these raproaches — half. believing them to be just so long as Meredith ‘remained under his present impressions in respect to the circumstances of her being seen with Cap- tain Stanley—half-resentful, on the other hand, at the bitter accusations thus hurled against her— yearning to explain everything, yet daring not to pronounce the words “I do not love another,” for fear they should be taken as the avowal of “I love you,”—distressed and bewildered—wanting to say something, yet knowing not what to say—anxious to fly from the spot, yet transfixed there by the power of her feelings,—Christina leant inst a tree for support; and the tears flowed thick and fast from her eyes. “Oh! now you weep,” exclaimed Meredith. “Weep on, false-hearted girl! An hour ago every tear you are at present shedding would have fallen like a drop of molten lead upon my heart, and I should have gone mad with grief! But now it does me good to see you weep, and to know that I have wrung those tears from your eyes! Ah, I envy not the man who will conduct you to the altar, deceiver that you are! Until within the hour that is passing, I would have staked my soul on your candour—your truthfulness! My God, how I should have been deceived! It would have been selling this soul of mine to Saten—and you, perfidious girl, the cause! Ah, though I am married—and it was as a married man that I dared love you, Christina—you know not the heart with which you have trifled, and which you have broken! Yet I will not curse you——No! ten thousand times no! I bless you, Christina |—and may God grant you with another all that happi- ness which, if circumstances permitted, it would have been my pride and joy to ensure you !” The young nobleman made a hasty movement as if to turn abruptly away. Christina, on her part, made a movement as if about to speak: but she could not give utterance toa word. His excite- ment was moderating into a profound mournfal- ness: her distress and anguish of mind were rising into a terrible excitement. Yet one word more!” he said, for an instant arresting his own steps; “and I have done! For-. give me that I blamed you—pardon me that [ reproached you! I have been too vehement—too impetuous! 1 was wrong, Christina, — I was wrong! But my feelings hurried me away. Once more—and for the last time, do I pray heaven to award you its blessing! Yes—may you be happy and blest !” With these words Lord Octavian disappeared from Christina’s presence. She started forward : his name was at the very tip of her tongue: she was about to call him back: but with such an effort of fortitude as only the purest-minded and most virtuous being could have commanded under such circumstances, she restrained herself—the name was not spoken—and he reappeared set in her presence. “‘Yes—it is better as it is,” thought Christina to herself. ‘Let him fancy that I love another! —it will all the more easily wean him from that infatuation which has well nigh produced such fatal effects upon the amiable Zoe!” And now, in a frame of mind that was fraught with a marvellous calmuess—with all the pious resignation of a self-sacrificing, self-martyrising spirit—Christina Ashton re-entered the villa. Lord Octavian Meredith hastened homeward, riding as if be were a madman mounted upon a mad steed. On gaining the more frequented parts of the town, he dashed amidst the vehicles with a recklessness which made every one who beheld him think that he was intoxicated with wine. Nevertheless, he reached his home in safety. Springing from his horse, he tossed the bridle to the domestic, who was half astonished and half frightened at his master’s appearance: but Meredith saw not the effect which his strangely wild excite- ment produced. He rushed into the house : he sum- moned his valet, and gave immediate orders for his clothes to be packed up and for the carriage to be got in readiness, as he intended to start by the night-train for Dover. The valet was as astonished as the other domestic had been; and yet he knew his master too well to suppose for an instant that he had been drinking. He therefore thought that some sudden calamity, or else some serious indis- cretion, must have driven Lord Octavian Meredith to the resolve of this precipitate departure. In order to lead Octavian, if possible, into conversa- tion, the valet inquired, with every appearance of completest deference, whether his lordship did not intend to see Mr. Armitage before he took his de- parture P “ No—it is not necessary !” replied Meredith petulantly. “I will leave a note, to be sent to him © to-morrow. Hasten you to get everything in readiness: prepare your own things likewise, fur you will accompany me.” Having thus spoken, Octavian hastened to the - GORMGOOOKS (CO