The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 171: what you’re looking at

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160 THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. have a ten pound note to buy mourning for her- self and the children. I was Secretary, and Trea- surer, and Auditor, and Manager——I think I was the Committee too: but I know very well that I was the principal recipient of the Society’s benefits. At last there was an exposure and an inquiry: I was summoned before the magistrate — bat I had taken very good care not to have the society enrolled ; and therefore his worship bad no power of jurisdiction. The case was dismissed ; and in order that the members should not fall into most unchristian feuds amongst themselves relative to the division of the remaining funds, I put them into my own pocket ;—and bidding an eternal fare- well to the ungrateful neighbourhood of White- chapel where the exposure had taken place, I established my quarters in another.” ‘ And what was the next course?” inquired Ben. “ T never was a fellow who could work much as long as there was any ready money to spend : and so J lived comfortably until I changed my last sovercign—when I began to think of something else. So I took to the Christmas hamper dodge.” “ What do you mean P” asked Ben Limber. “Why, out of the change for my last sove- reign,” replied Mr. Bealby, “I paid seven.and- sixpence for an advertisement in the Times, which ran to the following effect :—‘ Bealby and Co., old established Wine-merchants, continue to despatch their famous Christmas hampers, but on reduced terms. To every person remitting one guinea, Bealby and Co. will forward a hamper containing one bottle of old port, one of rich brown sherry, one of old East India Madeira, one of French brandy, one of Jamaica rum, and one of prime Hollands.’—You would be astonished at the way in which the guineas came pouring in: so I kept up the advertisements during the Christmas week : then I renewed them for the New Year’s week ; and when that was over, I changed the namo and address, and advertised splendid twelfth-cakes on similar terms. I reaped a golden harvest, and lived comfortably upon it for the next three months. At length one I sallied out, wondering what I should do next, with only eighteen-pence in my pocket——” “And what did you do then?’ inquired Ben Limber. “What could you possibly do with eighteen pence P”” oe went and took a theatre,” was the cool reply. “A theatre with eighteenpence!” exclaimed Limber. “Well, after all, my knowledge of the world is really nothing to your's ” “TI told you so just now,” said Mr. Bealby. “'Yes—it’s a fact—I went and took a theatre at a rental of about a thousand a year.” “But what use could you turn it to?” asked his friend. “Underlet it the very next day to some one else; and as he paid me the rent, but as I paid none myself, it was all clear profit as long as it lasted. But the proprietor sued me—I was put into prison, and had to petition the Insolvente’ Court a second time.” “TI should think you got remanded for that P’ observed Ben Limber interrogatively. “ Nothing of the sort!” exclaimed Mr. Bealby. “I described myeelf as a Lessce—and that was| sufficient. It is considered that every lessee or of a theatre may go through the Bank. ruptey or Insolvente’ Courts as often as ever they like; and they are always objects of sympathy. The Commissioner complimented me on not having had to insert the salaries of any performers in my schedule,— which was not however astonishing, as I had never employed any. However, I got of with flying colours-—-but with scarce a shilling in my t.” “And what did you do then?” inquired Mr. Benjamin Limber, who was evidently much in- terested in his friend’s explanations. “Why, jast at that moment there was a grand festival going on in Paris: so I advertised that Mr. Bealby, the well known manager of excursion trips, offered to take a party over to Paris, paying the first-class railway fare thither and back— lodging and boarding them for a whole week at a first-rate hotel in the French capital—and sup- plying every luxury for breakfast, dinner, and supper,—all included for twenty a head. Well, I contracted with the railway; and I had fifty subscribers to my party. We started :—this I was obliged to do, because according to agree- ment I was to collect the money at Duver. And you may be very sure that I déd collect it there: bat by some ex mistake I took my place in a return-train immediately afterwards; and instead of going any farther on the way to France, I found myself sapping again very quietly in London that same evening.” Mr. Benjamin Limber laughed uproariously at this last escapade of his friend Mr, Bealby, who himself joined in the mirth. “And what did you do nextf” inquired the younger gentleman. “I found there was such a terrific exposure in the newspapers,” was the reply,—“so many indig- nant letters were written—and eo many unpleasant threats were promulgated about having me up be- fore the Lord Mayor, that I deemed it expedient to take a trip into the country until the storm blew over. Unfortunately I got excessively drank one night amongst a perty of gentlemen somewhat sharper than myself; and when I awoke in the morning, I had not a single shillirig left. There was a dis ition for a man of genius to be placed in! I went wandering about the country in a desperate state,—until one afternoon I reached an old deserted tile-kiln, with all the accompanying works in a dismantled and ruined condition. There I found an old man peering about in every nook and corner—digging up the earth—and apparently hunting for something. I watched him awhile from a distance,—thinking that he was a treasure- seeker. At length I accosted him. He was at the outset by no means inclined to be communica- tive: but as I had a presentiment that the en- counter would tend to my advantage, I did my best to draw him into discourse. I learnt that he was a purveyor of curiosities for one of the old shops in Wardour Street, London—and that he was hunting for old earthen vessels in Warwick- ehire to save himself the trouble of going to Herculaneum or Pompeii in Italy. There was something in this pursuit which tickled my fancy. I offered to assist him; and I soon dug him out a lot of curious-shaped vessels and broken pipkins, which sent him into reptures He paid me - =a GOnMIGOOOKS