The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 169: what you’re looking at

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158 meals. He was exceedingly shabby in his apparel ; and by the state of his linen appeared to possess the confidence wf his washerwoman to a much emaller degree than did even Mr. Bealby himself. This individual bore the surname of Limber; but amongst his friends and equals he was more fami- liarly known by the diminutive of his Christian name of Benjamin. We should observe that Mr. Bealby had been out to pass the evening at a free-and-easy, where he had partaken of a chop and a baked potato— thereby, to use his own highly-expressive language, knocking dinner, tea, and supper, all into one. At this free-and-easy he had encountered Mr. Limber, who was an old acquaintance, but whom he had not seen for some few years. Remember- ing that he had a little credit at the public-house nearly facing his lodging in Bow Street, and that this credit was good to the extent of a bottle of gin and half-a-dozen cigars, Mr. Bealby invited his friend home to partake of those refreshmentse— observing “ that as they had a great deal to say to each othe:, they might just as well quaff their biue-ruin and smoke their weeds at his rooms.” Thither therefore they repaired from the free-and- easy : the gin and the cigars were procured from the public-house aforesaid ; and it happened that just at the time the Burker was engaged in climb- ing up the pipe, Mr. Bealby and Mr. Limber were sitting down to enjoy themselves in the apartment of the former. Mr. Limber was prepared by some little conver- sation during the walk from the free-and-easy, to find bis friend’s rooms crammed with strange ob- jects; and therefore on entering these apartments, he was not so much astonished as he would have been if suddenly introduced thither withoat any previous information on the point. At the same time, being somewhat of a nervous temperament, Ben Limber liked the aspect of the mummy and the skeleton as little as possible; and he sate with his back towards those objects, while discussing the gin-and-water, the cigars, and things in general. “ Why, how long is it since you and I met, old fellow P”’ asked Bealby, when they had begun to make themselves comfortable. “A matter of six or seven years,” was tho re- sponse. “ I was just fresh upon town then—— green—uncummon green!—but I’ve picked up a bit or two of experience since.” “You was a lawyer’s clerk then,” said Bealby. “Yes: but I devilish soon cut the lew,” replied Ben Limber, “and went upon the stage. I starred ita bitin the provinces as Mr. Sidney Howard Fitzplantagenet: but I soon got tired of that sort of business—and have been knocking about the world in various ways—till, betwixt you and me and the post I’m pretty near knocked down alto- gether.” “Well, we must see if we can’t knock you up agein,” responded Bealby. “It will bea devilish hard thing if two clever chape like you and me, can’t pat our heads together and do something good. You talked of your experiences: buat they are nothing like mine! Why, my history would make such a book as never before was read !”” “Well, what have you been doing since you and. I last met?” inquired Ben Limber. “ You should rather ask what I have not been doing,’ rejoined the other. “I’ve dabbled in THY MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. everything. Let me see—what was I when you saw me last ?” “You had just gone through the Insolvente’ Court, you know,” answered Ben Limber, with laugh : “and you was in high feather.” “Ah, to be sure!” observed Mr. Bealby: “I was getting up an Insurance Company at that time. I'll tell you how it was. I was three months in the Queen’s Bench before I went with flowi canvass through the Court; and in the Bench £ met half-a-dozen capital fellows, who agreed to join with mo in starting the Insurance Company. we soon had everything ready cut and. dried; and we gave ourselves our respective situations. I was to be Resident Manager, with a salary of four hundred a year: another was to be Actuary: two others were to be Auditors: another was to be Vice-Chairman of the Board; and a lushing blade of a fellow was to be surgeon. So the moment we all got out, wo set to work and established the con- cern. Splendid offices—Capital, two hundred thou- sand pounds!” “The deuce!” ejaculated Ben Limber with a- start of astonishment. capitalists ?”” “In imagination,” answered Mr. Bealby, withe knowing look. “ We issued the shares: it was not at all difficult—nothing to do but to have so many slips of paper neatly printed. We gave two or three hundred a-piece to ourselves, and five hundred to Lord Brummagem, who on that condition became the Chairman of the Board of Directors. I can assure you the whole affair was most splendidly managed: and for twelve months it went on swim- mingly.”” You don’t mean to say that you really issued any policies?” observed Mr. Limber. “TI mean to say,” replied Bealby, “that we issued four or five hundred policies during those twelve months. The grand secret was that our medical examiner took every life that offered itself, no matter whether the applicant might be in the “ Where did you find your last stage of consumption.” “But when any one died?” said Mr. Limber inquiringly. “ Fraud, my dear fellow—fraud !” responded Mr. Bealby: “that was our invariable answer. The Company had been imposed upon—the insurer had kept back certain facta: he had admitted that he spat blood and had a continuous hacking cough, but he had withheld the important fact that he exe perienced an incessant pain io his great toe. Bless you! deaths-came tumbling in at a frightful rate, because we ensured everybody, and we gave a per centage to our agents on every policy they brought in, so that they were interested in getting as many as possible, without the slightest reference to the value of the lives. The game would have lasted well enough, had it not been that a cursed weekly newspaper began to attack us: the bombardment was continuous and irresistible: so we fell to pieces. There was an end of the Universal Assurance Com- pany for all Christendom.” “And what did you do next?” inquired Mr. Limber. “TI advertised an income of four pounds a week for everybody who would send me five shillings’ worth of postage stamps. That was my next dodge,” added Mr. Bealby, es he cumplacently whiffed his cigar. So NOOK (G