The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 226: what you’re looking at

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TI MYSTERIES OF THE OOURT. 215 funds. He was always expecting immense remit- tnnces from his Insh estates—but they never came. He was however such an agreeable fellow—so gay, so good-humoured, so full of fun, so sprightly and clever, that I was quite smitten with him. It was a sort of infatuation—so that I believed all he told me. Ho used to get me to write out his speeches to his dictation; and then he would learn them by fieart, and go down to the House of Commons and surpriso them all with what seemed to be a genuine outburst of extemporaneous eloquence of the high- est order. But on one occasion he made a very fatal mishap. Two distinct questions wero coming on for discussion on the same night, and on both of which he intended to speak. For I afterwards found that he had been put in for Blarney- ville by the Marquis of Donkeyderry, the patron of the borough; and so he was compelled to speak, and vote, and act, precisely in obedience to his lordship’s directions. Well then, he had these two distinct subjects to speak upon for the sarc evening. One was the Irish Fishories; and the other was the case of the Eajah of Rumand- brandypoore. So you may see that they were in- deed very discrepant. Well, my fricnd Patrick O’Fianaghan dictated two brilliant speeches, which T wrote down for him very carefully ; and he learnt them by heart. He then primed hmmself with a couple of bottles of champagne, and went down to the House. Bat there, it appears, he took some ten or a dozen glasses of whiskey-toddy at Bal- lamy’s: so that when the debates came on he did not precisely know whether he stood on his head or his heels. The first question was the Irish Fisheries —when up jumped O’Flanaghan and began vomit- ing ferth a perfect torrent of eloquence. But un- fortusiately it was the brilliant speech which related to the Rah of Rumandbrandypoore. The House was astoriishod—the Speaker sate aghast. On he went, rushing like a madman through the wildest declarfations against the Kast India Company, and drawing such a picture of the wrongs of the unfor- tunate Hajek of Bumandbrandypoore that he grew farions with the excitement of indignation into which he lashed himself. There he was, far away amidst the jungies of India—when he ought to have been with the shoals of herrings on the Irish coast! Of course this scene could not con- tinue long: the House, recovering from its conster- nation, exploded in shoute of laughter—and poor O’ Fanaghan was at length made sensible of his error. He fied from the House with precipitation, and next day accepted the Chiltern Hundreds. Marquis of Donkeyderry then put his butler or his head which, but it’s all the same— into the vacant borough of Blarneyvillo; and poor O’Flanaghan was never heard of any more. Ihave been told that thero is now a billiard-marker at Bath or Oheltenham very much resembling him: but I cannot answer for the truth of it.” Lord Harold Staunton laughed heartily at this anecdote, and complimented Miss Emily on the style in which she told it. “Having thus lost my Irish lover,” she con- tinued, abandoning her hand to that of her com- : panion, “I aceepted the protection of a Judge; and | woPinced me in very handsome apartments at the End. He was compelled to be exceedingly © cautious in visiting me, as he was so well known. He was very liberal, and indulged me to the utmosi of his means: eo that I speedily regained the jewellery I had lost through the Member for Blarneyville. I¢ appears that my friend the Judge was very fond of making pathetic speeches from the bench when sentencing prisoners. On one occasion, some time before I knew him, a casé came before him at the Old Bailey, in which a eervant-girl was accused of conniving with a young man tu rob her master’s house. It transpired during the trial that the servant-girl had become infatuated with the young man—was seduced by him—and secretly ad- mitted him into the house at night to remain with her. On one of those occasions he robbed the pre- mises, while the poor unsuspecting girl was fast asleep. Her innocence, so far as any complicity in the depredations was concerned, was most satis- factorily pruven; while her lover was shown to be the guilty party. The Judge, in sentencing him and discharging her, made a long and most pathetic speech, showing the evils which arose from giving way to sensual passions; ard ‘he oxpatiated in such terme upon the dreadful effects of loose prindples on the part of men and frailty on that of women, that he drew tears from every one in the court. In short, it was a perfect moral essay, and seemed to prove that the learned Judge who could deliver auch sublime sentiments must himself be the most im- maculate of men.” “ But how does this aneodote apply to any thir g in connexion with yourself, my dear Emily,” asked Lord Harold; “since 16 happened long before you knew your Judge?” ‘You shall hear. I bad been under his Jordship’s protection for about three months, when I happened to discharge my housemaid and took another, the new-comer having an excellent character from her last place. But only conceive the scene which en- sued, when my Judge, on arriving one evening to sup with me, was instantaneously recognized by the new housemaid, who was the very same servant- girl he had so pathetically lectured at the Old Bailey. The consequence was the ion of the learned Jadge from my lodgings; and the next day he Walter of the Opera, and thence under that of Lord Saxondale. Such, my dear Harold, is a truo and faithful narrative of my proceedings during the two past years. “ And now tell me, my dear Emily,” said Staunton, — “because I am really interested in you,—havre The | you managed to save any money during all this time P”” “T had saved a Hétle previous to my acquaintance with O’Flanaghan: but he got it all out of me. Bince then I could save nothing until within the last week or two; and now I am making a beginning again. Bat you don’t know how money slips away with women in my When I look beck and think of what I might have saved, I wonder where it has all gone, and why it has sof been saved. | Somotimes I think what a fool I am to spend se fast and so recklesely: but it ie all in vain to make goodwesolutions for the future. The fact is, women placed as I am can’t save permanently. As I just now said, lam saving at present; but I dare say | that something will arise at no distant time to sweey away all these savings.” GON GoOO SS CO