The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 358: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MYSTERIES. 347 crisy.” Awfully scandalised at this proceeding, Brother Paxwax used every endeavour to pacify the irate Mr. Jones: but Mr. Jones was not to be pacified at any price short of the surrender of his daughter—and as this consummation did not ap- pear to be nigh at hand, he continued to baw! and vociferate more lustily than ever. The Reverend Mr. Sneaksby accordingly came forth to see what effect his eloquence would have in the matter: and he began by denying in the most positive terms that An» Jones was in his house at all, alleging that he certainly possessed a maid-servant very much like her, but whose name was Mary Smith. For a few moments Mr. Jones was staggered, and really began to think it just possible that he had made a mistake: but all on a sudden he caught sight of an umbrella—his own uabrella—which he instantaneously recognised as the one that his daughter had taken away with her on the day of her disappearance. Bounding into the passage like an infuriate bull-dog, Mr. Jones seized upon the umbrella, and therewith set to work to belabour the Reverend Mr. Sneaksby so unmercifully, that the pious vessel was covered all over with bruises before he had even time to raise an arm in self- defence. Mr. Paxwax roared out “ Murder !”— and Mr. Sneaksby vociferated “Fire!” or anything else that came to the tip of his tongue. Then, in the midst of the fracas, Ana Jones—the fair, but frail Ann Jones herself—emerged, shrieking and screaming, from the back parlour: the whole ncighbourhood was alarmed—the constables were sent for—and the upshot was that Mr. Jones, his daughter, and the two influential leaders of the New Lights, together with the umbrella, were all ignominiously bundled into a hackney-coach which was passing at the time, and ia this manner duly conveyed to Bow Sireet. Immediately upon their arrival at the police- ofice, Mr. Jones despatched a messenger to Jermyn Street, to inform Mrs. Piggleberry of what had occurred and obtain her attendance at the forthcoming examination; and the case was ac- cordingly kept back until the worthy woman’s arrival. The parties were then introduced to the notice of the magistrate; and a very singular ap- pearance they made. In the first place the Reverend Mr. Sneaksby put on his longest, demurest, and most puritani- cally miserable look,—-screwing up his mouth, and yot drawing down his chin at the same time—an operation which only gentlemen of his class can ever hope to succeed in accomplishing. Secondly, that excellent creature Brother Paxwax assumed a demeanour so resigned and so expressive of ia- jured innocence, that had it .not seemed most sublimely ridiculous in connexion with his rabi- cuad countencnee and brandy-loving looks, it doubtless would have produced the desired effect. Thirdly, there was Mr. Jones, with a fierce aspect and «stern demeanour, ready to pitch into any- body or everybody at the slightest provocation, and bestowing irate glances upon the pious vessels and his frail daughter by turns. Fourthly, there was the young female herself—abashed, trembling, and looking as she entertained a vague appre- hension of speedily becoming better acquainted with Bridewell than she as yet was. Lastly, we woe and seemed intent on the process of inflaming her right eye with the corner of her apron. The two leaders of the New Lights, Mr. Jones, “and his daughter, were all placed at the bar, charged with fighting, creating a disturbance, and alarming the neighbourhood in which the occur- rence took place: but the magistrate had not entered very far into an investigation of the affair, before he obtained sufficient insight into its origin and nature to determine him to dismiss the charge and place the whole ground-work of the proceedings upon another footing. . “Now, Mr. Jones,” he said, “ you complain that Nathaniel Sneaksby and Ichabod Paxwax have en- ticed your daughter away from home—is it not so ?” “Yes, your worship,” replied the individual thus addressed : “and if that isn’t a reason why I should punch their heads——” “ Hush! hush!” ejaculated the magistrate: “we know nothing of punching heads here—or rather, we know too much of it in the cases that come before us. But what age is your danghter, Mr Jones ?” “Turned of twenty, your worship,” was the answer: “and if that isn’t an age when she ought to know better, I’m cursed if I——” “Hush! hush!” interposed the functionary on the bench. “You must not make use of such language, or I shall fine you five shillings. I want to do you justice—for [{ see that you have been ill-treated: bat you should curb your temper.” “The man of Belial!’ moaned Mr. Sneaksby, first bending his eyes with an expression of sorrow- ful reproach upon Mr. Jones, and then turning up the said eyes like a duck in a thunder-storm. “The man of wrath!” groaned Mr. Paxwax, imitating his reverend leader as much as possible, alike in tone and looks. “Silence !” exclaimed the usher of the court, sharply. “ What saith that Philistine, Brother Paxwax ?” asked Mr. Sneaksby, assuming the martyrized air of a saint. “That we must bridle our tongues, Brother Sneaksby,” was the lugubrious response. ‘“ Silence!” once more ejaculated the usher. “Please your washup,’ observed Mrs. Piggle- berry, imagining that this was the very best time for her to state what she knew of the matter,— “them two unsavoury wessels has debauched and ruinated the poor gal which I loved as well as it she was my own mother—leastways, my darter, I should say——” “Qh! aunt,” exclaimed Miss Ann Jones, under the impression that she could do nothing better than get up a little scene, and perhaps go into hysterics by way of a finale,—“I know that I’ve been very ungrateful — very undu-u-tiful to both fa-a-ther and yourself-elf,” she continued in a whimpering tone; “ but it was all along of that ta}! hypocrite there-——-” “Sister Ann, sister Ann!” exclaimed Mr. Sneaks- by, in atone of mild rebuke, as the girl pointed her left hand towards him while she held her apron up to her eyes with her right. ‘Have I not becn even as a brother unto thee——~” “ Yea, verily—and as a husband too,” added Mr. , Paxwax, thinking to aid his leader’s cause by the must observe that poor Mrs. Piggleberry, standing , remark. apart from the rest, appeared the very picture ef! “DPve not the slightest deubt about it,” observed — Ee Se 0 a a aa - @u-ee 4 Sd Er Gaye © GEESE a ERE « — oo RE eg ao 2 eee leew et ND i ei ee, op ee nt | | | | <+SHeOiii GOH GOO