Joseph Wilmot, or, The Memoirs of a Man-Servant — page 84: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JOSEPH WILMOT; OR, THE MEMOIRS OF A MAN-SERVANT. 71 knowing it. I beseech you to follow the advice I am about to give—or I will put it as a prayer and entreat you to grant it! Leave Captain Ray- mond’s service at once—go forth into the world as a gentleman—and regularly every six months I will pay two hundred pounds into the hands of a London banker, so that it may be receivable by you and to your order in whatsoever part of the world you may be.” “Lady Eccleston,’ I said, “you must be sen- sible of deep, deep wrongs towards me to make such an offer as this. I know not how to answer you. In .the face of what appears to be a gene- rous atonement, I dare not use harsh or severe terms: and yet you must be well aware that I cannot feel otherwise than a profound and solemn curiosity : “ And that curiosity cannot be gratified, Joseph !” interrupted her ladyship emphatically. *‘I beseech you to be ruled by me. I can give no explanations beyond what I have already said. If you will persist in believing that there has been past rancour, enmity, or hate—at least ought you to have faith in present friendship. It is friend- ship that I proffer you: let me be your friend— and you will make me happy, while you are con- ducing to your own welfare.” “Lady Kcclesson,’ I responded, “there are many considerations which weigh with me now. For instance, you spoke of certain wishes or in- tentions on the part of your deceased father :—am I to suppose that in his noble generosity he be- queathed me money, which your husband kept back—and that for fear I should discover the de- ception practised towards me, he originated all those persecutions which first aimed at my life, and afterwards at my liberty ?” “T take heaven to witness, Joseph,’ exclaimed Lady Eccleston, “that you are utterly and com- pletely mistaken ! Remember, my poor father ia and here again she shuddered perceptibly—* had only known you for a few weeks iH “True!” I ejaculated: “and therefore that can- not be the reason of your present conduct. How- ever,” I abruptly added, “ I am so bewildered that I know not how to address you! Iam at a loss whether to thank you for what you have been say- ing at the present time—or whether to insist with sternness that you should deal explicitly in re- spect to the past. Ifit were Lord instead of Lady Eccleston who had given me this appointment, and who was speaking to me in these terms, I should demand the fullest explanations.” “But with me, Joseph,” said her ladyship, in a soft and persuasive tone, “you will act other- wise ?” “No, my lady,” I exclaimed: “my mind is suddenly made up! Tell me everything—or I accept nothing. Let me know the full nature, the reason, and the motives of the wrongs to be atoned for—or I cannot consent to receive the atonement. I will not go groping my way through the world in the dark, as the pensioner of your bounty: the gold I should thus accept from you, would never do me any good—T should enjoy nothing that it purchased! I would rather eat a crust earned by my own industry in the broad light of day, than live upon iuxuries purchased by gold given to me for reasons so mysterious and for motives so ambiguous.” “JT did not think I should find you thus dif- ficult to deal with,” said her ladyship, in a voice of the mournfullest reproach: “but for heaven’s sake alter your decision! I dare not remain with you many minutes longer. Nothing but the urgency of the present business could have in- duced me to run such a risk of compromising myself, by stealing forth in this disguise from the hotel. And the worst of it is, I was compelled to let my own maid so far into the secret that she knows I have thus stolen out—though I told her not for what object. My very reputation is now in her hands: she will of course put the worst possible construction on my proceeding—and I dare not say a syllable to justify myself by en- lightening her. How do I know that she will keep my secret P—and if she whisper a word of betrayal to Lord Eccleston, what can he possibly think ? You see therefore, Joseph, the tremendous perils I am incurring—the dangers I am encoun- tering—the sacrifices I am making and all for your sake! Do not—do not, I entreat you, let me have done so much in vain !” Lady Eccleston spoke with rapid and excited utterance; and I felt that I was yielding: but when she had finished, my resolve became fixed again; and I said, “All the arguments your lady- ship has adopted to move me, constitute another convincing proof that you must be sensible of deep wrongs towards me—or else you would not incur such risks in the endeavour to make me an atone- ment. In a word, therefore, until everything be explained I will accept nothing at your hands!’ “Oh, this is cruel—most cruel!’ she cried, with impassioned vehemence. “ But your mind is not altogether made up? Reflect upon what I have said—take time to consider of it—and by some means or another, at any risk and at any peril, I will meet you at this spot again at nine o’clock to-morrow evening.” “ No, Lady Eccleston!” I ejaculated: “ whatso- ever you may have done towards me, I cannot allow you to endanger your reputation uf Oh, but you endangered your very life on my account!” she vehemently interrupted me, thus alluding to the conflagration in Manchester Square ; “and it is my duty to do as much—or even more for you. ‘To-morrow evening—here, upon this spot !’’—and with these words her ladyship hurried away, quickly disappearing from my view in the surrounding obscurity, and leaving me half stupi- fied by the suddenness of the proceeding. As I slowly retraced my way to the hotel, I reflected on all that had taken place: but there is no need to chronicle my thoughts in detail—for they were such as were naturally inspired by a review of the colloquy that had so abruptly terminated. Throvehout the following day I found it im- possible to make up my mind as to whether I would keep the second appointment or not,—until the hour was close at hand, when I decided in the affirmative. For I thought to myself that if I strenuously urged Lady Eccleston to enter into the fullest explanations with regard to the past— if I promised the completest forgiveness as well as the most inviolable secrecy—she could scarcely persist in refusing to yield to my demand. “ Besides,” I reasoned to myself, “she is evi- dently so bent on making me an atonement, that COMmMCcooolks (CO)